A Wednesday Wedding Washout

My wedding hat: Pom Pom
This '30s glamour wide-brimmed
chapeau is constructed from a
deep-pan margherita pizza topped
with a Turkish-shaved marmoset
and liberally sprinkled with
Angora rabbit tails

 Well, that was a bit of a disaster.

 I've just got back from that wedding (and its aftermath) I informed you I'd been forced into attending. Although it wasn't a guaranteed disaster (as I had previously hoped), its resulting disastrousness was somewhat of a surprise. I don't know why it should be a surprise, though. After all, who has a wedding on a Wednesday? 
 Oh, traditionally, Wednesday is supposed to be the best day to get married, but when one factors in all the selfish, thoughtless guests who find it so inconvenient to travel/abstain from alcohol/take days off work etc, organising a Wednesday Wedding can be a bit of a 'mare. Not to mention the unwelcome appearance of unwanted family members...

§

GoGoDragons!

 The fine city of Norwich has been beset by dragons!

A rare mirror-scaled dragon patiently waiting to use a phone box in Tombland, Norwich

  Now, before you go blaming me or Witchface for "accidently" leaving a Cusp interface open allowing the dragons to make their way here, this was nothing to do with us.

Not this time, anyway.

Shhh!

 Heh heh. Just ignore the SubCs. I'm sure I don't know what they're on about!
 Anyway. Back to me. Or rather the dragons, as I'm sure that's what you really want to see.

Happy Birthday, Norma!

Thirteen Babychams and a Creme de Menthe later, Norma still manages to retain her usual ladylike poise and dignity aboard Donald Trump's private jet as it whisks her home from a private party. (As you can see, Donald can barely contain his joy at having the tres sophistiqué Norma on his plane.)

 Happy birthday, Norma!
 Yes, we hope you have a wonderful day.

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday from all of us!

Of not-Concorde, The Core and Contractors

 "Oh my gods we're going to crash!"
 "Stop wringing your hands, IDV. It makes you look even more limp-wristed" The Mistress snapped. "Remind me again whose stupid idea this was?"
 I glared at LX in the pilot's seat by way of reply. "I said we should have taken Concorde, but oh no, we had to take the Space Shuttle out for a spin."
 "Well, at least we can say we've flown it now" LX said.
 "If we live to tell the tale, that is!"
 "Have you no sense of adventure?"
 "Oh, shut up, LX!" 'Petra almost screamed. "This isn't an adventure. This is a nightmare!"
 "There!" Ms Scarlet pointed out of the window. "We can land there!"
 "What? Where?"
 "There." 
 "In a bloody forest?" I was incredulous. "Are you mad?!"
 "No. Look" and Ms Scarlet indicated a wide, tree-less avenue with her calligraphy ink-stained index finger. "There's a strip of clear ground near the edge."
 "Well, it'll have to do as we're out of options now." LX was suddenly all business. "Strap in everyone!"
 We all started doing up seat-belts and harnesses except for The Mistress. Instead, she began to hand out frighteningly large, firm silicone dildos complete with straps and buckles on their bases. Gods only knew where she'd managed to hide them until now.  
 "Strap in, MJ" 'Petra yelled. "Not strap on! What good are those going to do?"
 "Take our minds off getting smushed to smithereens when this thing hits the ground? And you address me as 'Mistress', remember? 'MJ' is so last season."
 "Fine, Mistress" 'Petra sulked, then leaned in and whispered, "Although, can you save me that sparkly fuschia one?"
 Through the windshield, the ground was looming at an alarming rate.
 "Oh, gods, it's The Core all over again..." I muttered as we plummeted towards the outskirts of Bendigo. 

Tales of Impending Bloom

 Here we are on the eve of the Summer Solstice and all I have to show are some tales of impending doom! The doom of Spring, that is, as we segue into Summer and the promise of blooms to come.

Witchface spent ages coming up with that.

I know. Sad, isn't it?

 Oh, shut up, you two!

Acanthus spinosa

Not the emperor's new clothes

 While searching through my old sketches looking for stuff that I could hastily throw together for the sixth in my Star Trek: Voyages That Never Were posts (because I couldn't think what else to do), I came across some ideas for T-shirts and jackets that I'd sketched about fifteen years ago. I hesitate to call them fashion - long-time readers can attest to my challenges in that department - so let's just stick to alternate universe items of apparel!

I still like this zip-hemmed T-shirt and - if I had the body - I'd wear it now,
cries of "Mutton!" be damned!

Quilted cakes and be-tentacled baking

 Seeing as the last batch of baking I shared here escaped being cakefarted by The Mistress, I thought I'd share my latest batches. I'm experimenting with decorating, hence the quilted effect, the two-tone piped icing, and the... well, the octopi.

 

Under the mini-cake dome

Maddened by Mischievous Monsters

 Sigh... I shall be glad when this week's over. Yes, it has been one of those again.

Shug Monkey warning via Nuclear Summer

 Monday, 07:28 - I was very surprised to see a Shug Monkey hanging around the entrance to Norwich bus station as I walked past on my way to work. I imagine it must have got on a bus from Cambridge to end up here in Norfolk? Anyway, I studiously ignored it. After all, I didn't want it following me to work and causing all manner of chaos and shitting under my desk.  

The most peculiar octopus he had ever come across*

OK, I managed a month without reading a Star Trek book, so it's back to normal now. 
 

* A most peculiar octopus

 25. The Magic Bubble-Pipe, by Stella Farris

  I bought this for my niece, Babyzilla, either for this coming Christmas, or for her third birthday at the end of April 2016. However, I couldn't withhold the excitement and caved, giving it to her almost as soon as I saw her.  It took all my (and Indescribable's) powers of persuasion to convince Babyzilla not to rip the pop-up bits out of the book once she opened it!

Wanton for Brenton

 Brenton Thwaites, that is.

The awesomely-eyebrowed Brenton Thwaites all scrubbed up for Vogue

 Oh, dear. We seem have succumbed to the fripperies of youth and eyebrows.

 Again. It's embarassing!

 Oh, shush, you. I can feel your vicarious thrill of the fancying from here.

 Well, even if the thrill was real - which it's not - of course you could feel it: You're only two neurons away!

 Silence! Gadzooks, are you two on, or something?

 Anyway - getting back to the post at large - there's more after the jump: 

An Allotment of Aquilegias

 The lovely weather we've had lately has kept me outside rather than in, so I only have news from the gardening front. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I've realised that many of our latest posts are more about the pictures and less about the writing - something we must rectify soon. But not today.

 Today, I bring you an assortment of aquilegias (amongst other greenery) from The Mother's allotment. Many of these I have actively encouraged to grow, despite them taking up room for vegetable crops. Besides, The Mother doesn't visit the allotment as often as she used to, so Inexcuseable's husband and myselves have free rein to give it a good seeing to as we see fit.

 As always, click the pics to embigulate and remember that there are more after the break.

This double pink variety, like many aquilegias up here, is growing under an apple tree

Music from the Dead of Night

 I thought it was about time I got some of my favourite music from this year in order. After all, at the speed this year's skidding by, it'll soon be time for the annual Coven Awards round-up & review!
 So, with that in mind, may I present the four albums I've bought so far this year. There are videos (not all of them official) of my favourite tracks, and a runner-up listed (some of which have links to their own video if they exist).

Erasure: The Violet Flame
 Dead of Night

 Smoke and Mirrors

 I've been a fan of Erasure since the late 1980s. I can remember loving A Little Respect on the Now XIII tape cassette, Stop! on Now 14, and Drama! on Now 16. The first album I bought was Chorus in 1991, and this one, The Violet Flame, is the latest. It was released in the Autumn of last year, but I've only just realised it existed!

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