Saturday, 4 April 2015

The Barbara Cartland Diaries

 Well, here we are with April's update of books read so far this year. You'll probably be pleased to see there's only one Star Trek entry, and that I've provided some excerpts from the re-reading of Not the Royal Wedding. Enjoy!

 17. Horrorstör, by Grady Hendrix
 This book was a birthday present from my ex-stalkee and Coven member, Tim.
 It's a nice (perhaps 'nice' is the wrong word?) little horror story based in a Swedish-style furniture store, called Orsk - nothing too far-out or ground breaking - but what I really like about it (and I presume is its selling point) is that it looks like a catalogue for an IKEA-type store. Inside, the theme continues with fold-out cover flaps with maps of the store, order forms, coupons, advertisements, and each chapter begins with a catalogue listing of an item of furniture (and later, as the horror become apparent) or torture device. Good use is made of how stores like this are laid out in such a way to get customers to buy more than they intended, and how it's easy to lose one's bearings and get lost.

  18. Rise of the Federation: Uncertain Logic (Star Trek: Enterprise), by Christopher L. Bennett

 I know. A new Star Trek novel even though I said previously that I wouldn't be purchasing one until at least July when David R. George III's latest Deep Space Nine tale - Sacraments of Fire - is released.
 I couldn't help myself. Despite not really giving two figs about the Enterprise era (mid-22nd century), Christopher L. Bennett's amazing writing got me hooked again. Damn him!

 19. Not The Royal Wedding, edited by Sean Hardie & John Lloyd

 Yes, another year means another read of this absolutely hilarious "Not An Official Souvenir" of Charles & Di's Royal Wedding.
 This time, I thought I'd share some of it with you. You've already been treated to the advertisement for exquisite recreations of some of Barbara Cartland's famous hats in my previous post, so here are the rest of her bits, if you'll pardon my French:

Click to embiggen
See how Raine Spencer (Di's stepmum)
is really related to Dame Barbara
A page from the Spencer Family Album
Preparations for Dame Barbara's attendance to the Royal Wedding

Tragically, Yves was crushed to death by
his very creation when it fell on top of him
Dame Barbara had her own tier of the wedding cake

 20. Weirdos From Another Planet, by Bill Watterson

 This volume of Calvin & Hobbes strips contains such gems as the origin of Stupendous Man and the feature debuts of both Rosalyn (aka the fiendish Baby Sitter Girl) and Calvin's killer bicycle. Bill Watterson had originally intended for Rosalyn to be a one off character, but he liked her relationship with Calvin so much that he brought her back again and again, thankfully. She's about the only person Calvin's afraid of!
 There're some hilarious strips about Calvin being taken on a camping holiday by his parents - I especially like his mom's reaction to the idea of getting up at the crack of dawn to go fishing. It's clear she'd rather be in a nice hotel with room service, totally undermining her husband's enthusiasm for the 'character building' trip!


  1. I want Horrorstor now!!!

  2. It's almost as horrific as actually visiting an IKEA, Ms Scarlet.

  3. What is Tim trying to tell you by giving you a copy of Horrorstör?

  4. Speaking of Swedish furniture stores, I recently read "The Extraordinary Journey of the Fakir Who Got Trapped in an Ikea Wardrobe."

  5. MJ: I'm hoping Tim would like me to go with him on his next visit to IKEA and hold his hand (or something...). But I suspect he might actually prefer that I get trapped inside a wardrobe (a little like your Fakir while searching for a bed of nails) and meet my demise. He's such a tease!

    How did you like the Fakir's Extraordinary Journey? I was humming and hahing about whether to give it a go.

  6. I recommend the Fakir book if you enjoy a playful, whimsical read.

    I await his next book, "The Little Girl Who Swallowed A Cloud As Big As The Eiffel Tower."

  7. Then I think I will. Give it a go, that is.
    The titles alone are worth reading!

  8. I will look for Horrorstör later today in the book store. Thanks for the tip!

  9. PS: Got it! Up next.

  10. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, LX!


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