Monday, 26 January 2009

An ill wind

Firstly, apologies for my unnotified absence. I would have posted earlier but I was rather vexingly detained on my way back from Tartarus. I'd 'misplaced' my paperwork you see, and almost became a permanent 'resident' what with being a little bit undead.

Anyway, the delay meant that I only just managed to keep ahead of the windstorm that was heading towards home. I really need to get a new, faster broom...

"This is IDV turning on final. Coming around to a seven-zero-niner. Terminal guidance locked in. Where's the damn beacon?*" Then I saw it emerge from the low cloud ceiling. From the twilight haze ahead, the distant city landing beacons became visible and the disembodied voice of the air traffic controller echoed in my head.

"That's a negative, IDV. We've got several nannies primed for dust-off."


"We're expecting an imminent wind change. The met. tower has checked and verified."

I swore under my breath. "Bugger." This is why I hated coming in late ahead of a prevailing wind.

"Please join the stack until the nannies are clear."

I sighed and directed Broom into a holding pattern above the other circling airspace users. Peering down, I noticed a couple of other witches near the bottom of the stack, the nightship above them, a druid atop a surprisingly manoeuverable megalith** and, directly beneath me, Dragon. She waved and grinned, baring far too many teeth for my liking. I smiled insincerely back at her. At that moment, the air traffic controller cut in again:

"Here comes the wind change now. Stand by for some chop."

From the city below, movement caught my eye. Ascending from the big houses were dozens of prim nannies hanging beneath umbrellas and parasols, looking for all the world like seeds blown from a dandelion clock. Much as I loathed waiting in a stack like any of your common or garden arial entities, the sight of that many airborne nannies was truly something to behold. However, my awe was about to be rudely interrupted.


"Good. Gods!" I exclaimed as a cloud of noxious fumes arose from below me. I covered my nose and looking down to see Dragon looking sheepish. "What ever have you been eating?"

Dragon looked even more abashed.

"Oh no, not those fat kids from the council estate? I told you fast food was bad for you. And just think of your cholesterol levels!"

* Snaps to whomever guesses the film that this line is taken from.
** Well, how do you think they transport all those stones to make henges?


  1. Anonymous27/1/09 00:11

    Yay! First!

    And the line is from Aliens - just before they land on the colony.

    What do I win?

  2. "Good. Gods!" I exclaimed as a cloud of noxious fumes arose from below me.

    Something I've been meaning to ask...

    How long did it take to air out your home after P&T left?

  3. Ooh! Was it that lady pilot who is one of the first to be skewered for Alien's dinner?

    Also I thought for one hot minute that you had asked us to identify where the quote: *phaaaarrrbt* came from.

    I would have got that one, I would have.

  4. And all this time, I thought logs and ropes and thousands of people were used to transport the large blocks to Stonehenge!

    I suppose it's a good thing the nannies fly at night. Otherwise there'd be a lot of accidents on the roads as men (and lesbians) look up to see what underpants the nannies are wearing (if they're wearing any at all).

  5. Anonymous27/1/09 18:55

    "* Snaps to whomever guesses the film that this line is taken from."

    Where are my Snaps then?

    I'm waiting!




    What the fuck are 'Snaps'? I hope it's not those shitty things that look like chocolate covered Pringles?

  6. I don't think it's Dragon with a wind problem. I think it's you!


Tickle my fancy, why don't you?