Monday, January 19, 2009

East Angular


Now, before I tell you who guessed the last Item of Interest item correctly, I'd like to present to you this rather amusing take on Kanye & Estelle's "American boy" by Thomsta (whoever he is). It's called "East Anglian boy" and rips the piss out of the East Anglian stereotype, as well as showing off some of our locales. It was featured on Kiss radio station at some point recently - I have no idea when because I don't really listen to it myself.

I would just like to point out that I am not a typical East Anglian boy because, luckily, The Mother's family doesn't come from around here.

Oh, and for the uninitiated (i.e. non-Britlanders), East Anglia is a region of England which comprises the four counties of Norfolk, Suffolk, Cambridgeshire and Essex.




If that video didn't automatically start playing the next one, click here to have a listen. It's how we East Anglians actually speak. Really. Except me, of course.


- - -

Right then, I'd better let you know who guessed the Item of Interest correctly.

It was so nearly 'Petra with "Obviously it's a swarovsky crystal whiskey bottle. You know, the Blake Carrington variety of Dynasty." But Eros was the first to guess correctly with "I was going to say glass window or a new crystal ball, but I'm taking another guess. It's a decanter." He managed to pip you other 'decanter guessers' at the post (yes, you Ponita & T-Bird). Oh, and I know I said you can make up something preposterous, but Tim took it to a new level with "It's the view from the inside of your bizarre bile-and-newspaper chrysalis where you're hibernating after eating Beaky's family."

- - -

Ooh, one last thing: The post title isn't spelt incorrectly. It's a nod to the infamous (well, at least here in the UK and India) Jade Goody's spectacular lack of pronunciation and geographical knowledge.
Here's a transcript of her East Angular conversation with Spencer whilst in the Big Brother 2 house:

Spencer: "You know you see those people in Venice standing on the back of gondolas, pushing it around?"
Jade: "They don't do that on the Thames though, do they?"
Spencer: "No. I don't work on the Thames. I work in Cambridge."
Jade: "Is there not the Thames there?"
Spencer: "No!"
Jade: "Is there a river called the Cambridge river?"
Spencer: "Yeah, it's called the Cam."Jade: "Really? You swear? I only thought there was the Thames. I thought that was the main one in London."
Spencer: "It is. I don't live in London."
Jade: "I'm confused. I thought Cambridge was in London. I knew Birmingham weren't in London."
Spencer: "Would you like to go and tell the group what you just said?"
Jade: "No..."
Spencer: "Cambridge is a city."
Jade: "But we've got a city in London."
Spencer: "Yes. This city is called London. And there's different parts of it. Cambridge is a city."
Jade: "Of where? Kent?"
Jade: "Well England's a country, London's a city, Bermondsey's just a throw-off. Now where are you? What's your country, and what's your things?"
Spencer: "What country am I from? England. The city is called Cambridge, the county Cambridgeshire."
Jade: "So not Kent then?"
Spencer: "Nooooo.... The region is called East Anglia."
Jade: East Angular? That's abroad. Is there not a place called East Angular abroad?"
Spencer: "Jade, have you been taking the stupid pills again?"
Jade: "Every time people tell me they work in East Angular, I actually think they're talking about near Tunisia and places like that. Am I thick?"
Spencer: "Well, I hate to say it, but you are."Jade: "Cos Scottish and Irish and all that comes under England, doesn't it?"
Spencer: "No... They come under Great Britain. Scotland and Wales have their own flags. Northern Ireland and Ireland are different."
Jade: "So they're not together? Where's Berlin?"
Spencer: "Germany..."

Bless.


15 comments:

  1. YAY FIRST.
    Damn I was so sure I was right about the portable light house.
    Awww poor old Jade , she is a bit fick

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  2. Damn and I was sure you were going to say something about Jade's kebab! phew.
    Bless her cotton socks.

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  3. Cotton in the cranium, is more like it.... duh!

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  4. I win!

    That video is hilarious! Esp the kitty hold up! Tractor country! So, the stains on the jeans are from plowing the fields?

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  5. Yo, MJ here, representin' rubbish Canada.

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  6. Is she the one they tormented?

    Dammit I didn't win the nothing prize.

    *sulks*

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  7. Is Jade Goody still alive?

    Damn.

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  8. Oh and 'Hello Beast!'

    Even if Goody was to snuff it, Beast will always be around to remind us of her. In Beast, her memory will be alive and well.

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  9. All said and done Jade must be smarter than me . I may know where East Anglia is , but she has the millions :(

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  10. She better spend it quickly then.

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  11. Wow, that cow that appears 40 seconds into the video is doing the same facial expression as you in that picture of yourself you keep posting.

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  12. It's frightening how many people like Jade I see every day. I have a colleague who didn't believe seahorses actually existed.

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  13. I agree, Skillz. But I've grown to thinking that the masses just adore everything about 'celebrity' anyway - they're like fucking sheep.

    I had a seahorse when I was a kid, many, many years ago.

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  14. Ha!

    I like the East Angular accent, I do.

    Now, which one is Jade Goodey? Is she a former girl band moll? Was she the one married to the dude who is now with Our Delta Goodrem?

    I can never get British Slappers right.

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  15. Jade Goody is the one that likes like someone has kicked her in the face with a big heavy boot.

    And who is now a baldie after all her hair fell out.

    She's also fat.

    And has a potty mouth.

    And looks like a pig.

    And has a one-armed ugly lesbo mother.

    Who also had a potty mouth.

    For a moment, I could almost have been describing 'Beast' there. Alas, it's only Jade Goody this time.

    Anyway, T-Bird, are you too lazy to type her name into Google, or something?

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