Thursday, August 23, 2007

A slight return

Where have I been? What have I been doing?



Oh, the tales I could tell. Suffice it to say that I convened with the most powerful and ancient coven in existance. The triumverate of witches that we formed would normally rip the very fabric of reality apart, causing tears that even the most proficient quantum seamstress couldn't darn together.

However, what actually happened was little more than over excited, frequently tangential, meta-gossip. Reputations were ruined, skeletons were involuntarily conjured from closets (one of which had put on a lot of weight - Not so skeletal now, are you, you fat, insufferably smug cow?) and children were pushed into boating lakes with gay abandon! Good times.

And, despite rumours to the contrary, I was not engaged in 'manhoovering' with the entire male staff of the London Underground rail system. Ewww. The very idea! Have you seen what the majority of those tunnel dwelling trogolodytes look like?

Of course some of my disappearance can be attributed to SID's PSS, which I must say is rather startlingly accurate! However, I have now decided on a pose for when those ghastly green gash grazers grace my gazelle-like gams (phew). I'm just waiting for a bit of sun, as it's an outdoor pose.

I was going to post some pictures, but my home internet connection thingy appears to be up the spout, so I'm doing this from work where I can't access photos etc.



Bugger.

7 comments:

  1. I'm so happy you're back I could almost kiss you.

    But I know where your mouth has been.

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  2. SID's "PSS" ...

    Pus-filled Syphilitic Sores.

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  3. You were going to post some pictures? God, knowing your technological level I expect they'd be taken by one of those cameras they used to have in the wild west - y'know, the ones with the exploding flash bulbs.

    BOOMPH!

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  4. Yes MJ that's what he'll get when donning those elf pants if he doesn't wash them. The rumours I've heard about you...

    glad to have you back IDV, can't wait to see the pictures. Remember attitude! (I've been watching way too much Top Model haven't I)

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  5. *and gawd alone knows where MJ's mouth has been*

    Anyway, much as I hate to admit it.... glad you're back.

    *vomits*

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  6. Don the shorts and get it over with.

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  7. It has been in the elf pants Piggy

    that's enough to make anyone vomit

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