Friday, 20 April 2007


I got a nice letter from the 'board* the other day. It seems Broom is overdue a service.

Unfortunately, they sent a brochure, too, trying to tempt me into purchasing a new method of transport. They offered a good trade in price for Broom, because apparently, used brooms are in high demand.
The cover portrayed the latest model in twisted mahogany, complete with inset pine marten backbone and silver inlay. Gorgeous!
Of course, my budget wouldn't stretch as far as what they cost. Especially as Car is overdue a service, too.

I'd ignored them after they phoned a couple of months or so ago to offer 5% off the service. They called a month after that, offering 10% off, which again I poo-pooed. Finally, two and a half months down the line, I was sent a voucher entitling me to get 20% off the service, plus an extra £50 if I spent more than £400.

Who could refuse? Clearly not me as I nearly slipped in my own drool scooping up the vouchers...

* As in Broom Cupboard.

P.S. The picture up there is of Broom, not the Ultimate Brochure-Broom, sadly.


  1. I could use a broom for sweeping the fresh snow from the sidewalks! Is that what happens to old witches brooms that have been put out to pasture?

  2. Broom has great character.

  3. For the moment, Snooze. The poor little fucker is about to get traded in. So much for loyalty, huh?

    I hope the new one snaps in half, mid-flight.

    From a great height.

    Dumping IVF ceremoniously onto Car.

    Which will then collapse under the strain.

  4. why would you need a car if you've got a broom? (and vice-versa)

  5. Brom would come in handy for smashing Car's windows and making lovely big dents all over the bodywork.

    Mind you, so would my boot.

    *plans visit to IVF land to visit car*

  6. Brom is slang for Broom.


  7. KG: Lovely to hear from you again!

    The good thing about those 'out to pasture' brooms is that they can sweep up by themselves. I'll see if I can get you one...

    Snooze: Isn't that just a polite way of saying 'cantankerous, stubborn old sod'?

    Jingo: Ah, Car for daylight and transporting 2+ passengers plus luggage, and Broom for night time, and the look!

    Piggy: I haven't traded Broom in - it's just getting serviced, not replaced.

    You obviously didn't read the post properly, you thick 'Brom' queynte!

    * unleashes Car for a Christine-a-like kill-a-thon in poofiest Yorkshire *

  8. Pah!

    I read it in a hurry.

    And Smunty The Cabin Boy was distracting me with inane, nay banal, conversation on the phone at the time.

  9. Okay, I'm tired of looking at that freaky broom pic now.

    Post something new, for fuck's sake.

    Lazy cunt.

  10. Oh, OK. OK!

    Honestly, some people are so impatient...

    Give me a few hours though as I'm at 'work'.

    Smunty wasn't chatting you up as well, was he?

  11. "At work" as a go-go boy at the poofter club.

    Rush home and change out of that thong.


Tickle my fancy, why don't you?