Friday, October 13, 2006

Fairies

I was clearing out my back passage at the weekend.

This one, you perverts:

As you can see, it had become a little overgrown. What with the weather taking a turn for the worse now that Autumn has settled in, it was about time the house plants were returned to the house and the larger, overhanging plants, such as the Zantedeschia, were moved back out of the way. You see, when it rains, the plants just fling the accumulated water on one when brushing past them, leaving one absolutely drenched. Anyway, I had the fright of my life when I moved the Acanthus.

Lurking behind it was a colony of fairies. Contrary to popular belief, they're not beautiful, elegant little creatures. They're vile little monsters. A pox on nature and society. Scabbing off decent hardworking folk, turning milk, stealing washing and spreading disease. Naturally, I cursphered the flyspray to me and gave the little bleeders a good dose, almost asphyxiating myself in the process. Good job they hadn't set up their colony in the house.

At this point, Nuffy came hurtling out of the back door, ears flattened and growling. He leapt, catching one in mid air then shook it vigorously until it hung limp in his mouth. The remaining fairies took off into the evening sky. They were easy to spot as they glowed faintly with a sickly yellow light. I managed to bring a couple down with a well aimed thaumic charge from my wand but the rest escaped. Sod! They'd set up colonies somewhere else in the neighbourhood now. And this was such a nice place to live too.



Bugger.

13 comments:

  1. I'm guessing Nuffy is your familiar? I am obsessed with people of the four legged furry variety.

    They're so hand to have around when there are fairies in the garden!

    ReplyDelete
  2. If anyone's gonna know about fairies it'd be you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hate those little bastards. I always have. So the flyspray worked then?? Hmmmm, time to get some more fly spray.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've added the missing link to my familiar now, Miss T

    Fuckkit
    : Of course!

    D&T: Yep. Flyspray's good. A sprinkling of ant powder works wonders too.

    ReplyDelete
  5. What are the odds that you would find them? i'm glad it was someone who knew how to handle them.

    ReplyDelete
  6. A rabbit! They are so cute and fluffy!

    Trivia: We witches from down under (in Queensland) are not allowed to keep rabbits as familiars. It is against the law. Something about myxomatosis, escaping into the wild and other such human created nonsense.

    Needless to say, the thought of a familiar rabbit makes me squeal with delight. I never knew that rabbits could growl! Do they make other sounds or just prefer to communicate with you telepathically?

    I've got your regular garden variety miniature battlecat that answered my familiar call.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dinah: Luckily, fairies are pretty stupid creatures, operating mostly on instinct. They are attracted to thaum (magic) fields like moths are attracted to light. I imagine that's why they set up their detestable colony at mine...

    * shudder *

    Urgh. I still feel unclean!

    Miss T: Awwwww... Little bunny-wunnies are soooooo cute! To look at. Not to interact with - Well, not Nuffy, anyway. He growls, grunts, snorts and I've heard him scream once when seeing off a cat (obviously not a battlecat like yours). It's a bit unnerving, to tell the truth.

    Is the Australian Outback rife with rabbits, then? I'd heard some had been introduced but proliferated like... well, rabbits!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm not too sure about the rabbit problem now - apparantly they introduced myxamatosis (spelling anyone?) back in the day, and this took care of a lot of problems - meaning it hurt the bunnies and they didn't make babies.

    But I have always wanted a rabbit as a familiar. But just between us, my battlecat* and I wouldn't have it any other way.

    *She's actually a neurotic mess that jumps at her own shadow and attacks things only she can see - the perfect pet for me!

    Nuffy sounds so cute! I love rabbits' back feet - they are just so big and.... hoppy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Frikking fairies are evil buggers. There's that one that climbs into your ears and screams until parts of your brain die. I had that happen to me and it ain't nice.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wasn't there something in Peter Pan about killing them?Clapping or something like that? If not, try flyspray, or whacking them with the phone book.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ohhh, yeah... didn't it have to do with not believing?

    What! You can't keep a rabbit as a pet? I learned on Pop-Up video that it's illegal to keep a koala as a pet, but I had no idea about the rabbits.

    ReplyDelete
  12. In Queensland it's illegal to have them as a pet - and I'm thinking it is also very illegal to keep a koala as a pet as well. Although Koalas are not as nice as everyone thinks they are.....

    ReplyDelete