Sunday, 31 October 2021

Terrifying Triffidery 2021: A Garden Photos Event Attraction

- "It is amazing, really, how many plants we think of as benign are actually merely biding their time before they kill us all and conquer the planet!" Jx -

I couldn't have said it better myself, Jon.

 Ah, welcome to the 2021 edition of Terrifying Triffidery! 

 Before we get going, you'll be a little taster for-
 No!  The line is "Here's a little taster of what's coming up" and point to Venus and her many mouths on the right there.
 But she's hungry!
 You're not to feed the visiting Blogorati to the Triffids!  What do you think we stocked up on all those commoners, chavs and other people for?
 Oh.  Well, yes, okay then.  I did wonder why the gift shop's pick-n-mix dispensers were full of oiks.  
 I knew I should have done this myself...
 Oh, you're such a worrywart.  I'm sure the Blogorati weren't even paying attention.  Look!  They've already tired of your nagging and wandered off to see if they can guess which of them sent in what.
 Hmmmph!  I hope you remembered to label the specimens?
 Of course I did!  I hope...

I can't imagine what this pteradactyl's frothing at the beak about?

A sea anemone?  I thought this was supposed to be about terrestrial Triffids?

Someone clearly didn't get the message otherwise we wouldn't have
this alien from The Abyss!

Um...  Who left their sex toy lying about?  Hmm?!?

Anyone for salad?

Who let The Color Out of Space in?
I hope it's already eaten Nicholas Cage!

Ewww!  Far too many moist flaps and folds for my liking.

What the hells am I looking at?  Someone's insides?

Well.  That's a bit suggestive.
Something for Peenee, perhaps?

Look how they're all twisted around.  Like screws.
I wouldn't want to be screwed by that!

Anyone for lunch?
No, really, it'll eat anyone when it's hungry!

This one doesn't look so bad. 
Oh, I don't know.  It'll probably give you kidney stones, or something.

Oh, Christ!  Who let Audrey II in??

Drat!  She brought her sisters.


What's not to like about three hedgehogs devouring a baby deer?
Which sicko sent this in?!


 Well, there you have it.  Thank you for submitting your spooky specimens.  And for anyone who made it out alive: Well done!  We'll get you next year, though.

 The Infomaniac Garden Photos Event proper will kick off right here in a couple of days or so, and for those of you who still haven't sent me your photos - Savvy!!!* - get your skates on!

* What a surprise, eh? 


  1. OMG!!!!!
    And we have to guess who sent what in???? Is there a prize?
    I do like those black and white shots in the middle of the post - I think those are by you, Mr Devine. I do love the Peenee tree, especially.
    The colour ones below the black and white shots could be Jon.
    The colour close ups???? Could be Maddie, or Dinah?
    The sex toy - Mels!!!!
    I am confused about the rest, but they are all seriously spooky!
    Happy Halloween!

    1. Ms Scarlet, you should know by now that the Infomaniac Garden Photos Event is NOT a competition. So, no, there's no prize. But you did get one right...

      Happy Hallowe'en!

    2. Sorry Ms Scarlet. I do wish the sex toy was mine, but alas it is not. I kept it on the down low in grayscale. My naughty bits are coming for the next show, aplomb with color. I do so admire some of these gorgeous color pictures!

    3. Did I win yet? Just asking for a friend.

  2. I had forgot this started today!!! What all such great submission. Nice to see many size queens par take in the event. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if Audrey and her sisters are from the Dolores Delargo Towers. But I didn't see any warty wand? And I like I might have had relations with at least one of them.

    1. Ah, Maddie. The Garden Photos Event often brings out the size queens - Perhaps next year we should have a "Who's got the biggest marrow?" contest?

      You didn't see a warty wand because that all cleared up- I mean, because it never existed!

      Happy Hallowe'en!

    2. There was a young fellow from Harrow
      Who'd a testicle big as a marrow(The other was small
      Hardly any at all)
      But he wheeled this one
      round in a barrow

      I'll leave quietly...

    3. If there is a biggest marrow contest, I'm not supplying the barrows!

  3. That horrifying hedgehog thing must be from Hound, and the "sea anemone" is bound to be Dinah's - but the rest? Are those "Audreys" yours, Mr DeVice? J

    1. Why, Jon, I couldn't possibly say which - if any - of this selection came from the gardens of Hexenhausli Device.

      But you did get two right!

      Happy Hallowe'en!

  4. No wonder Mother always sent me out to play in the garden!

    She was hoping for 'the best!'

    1. Upton - Hello! I'm sure your discerning eye can see that these are indeed the best specimens. Or, perhaps that should be 'the beast'?

      Will we be seeing your best? (I keep checking my emails just in case...)

  5. I love these! What fun! The colors of the last one are particularly striking as with the prickly bits. Reminds me of the first Alien movie. Oxalis Oregana while innocent looking enough can be eaten in small qualities, however too much will convert to Oxalic Acid give you a very bad case of "the runs." No one wants to die from shitting themselves to death.

  6. Terrifying Triffidery! I feel as though I may have my head bit off by something or other if I get to close. These are amazing and won't even try to guess who is what. I could swear one of them we could smoke, or is it just me? I can't wait to see a reveal of what they are. Is there a reveal? Some of these have me stumped. The first couple and the veiny one creeped me out and the last???? Where is the hand sanitizers around here?

    1. Oops! I 'forgot' to put up the warnings and barriers. Still, you made it through in one piece, dear Asriel. And yes, by all means reveal all!

      Oh. You meant the Triffids. Um, well, yes, I shall reveal which Triffid/s belong to which of the Blogorati in the next post, so please stick around.

  7. Well, I recognised one, of course, but since I gave you free rein on other pics I sent...who knows what hellish demons you've conjured. I just hope you haven't damaged any Drag Queens!

    1. I can safely say that no Drag Queens were injured during the making of this post or the GPE itself. Well, not yet, anyway...

    2. Don't forget - one drag queen was damaged.

    3. Thanks. Just when I'd managed to get it out of my head... ;)

  8. Have I won yet? I have read the rules but of course they don't apply to me!
    Did you say you'd seen The Color Out of Space? Did you think it was rubbish as well?
    I don't understand sex toys - why doesn't everyone lick their own bollocks!

    1. Rules, shmules!

      Ug. Yes, TCOoS was awful - I should have known because it had Nic Cage in it (and I can't stand him), but I was curious about how the colour was going to be portrayed. Disappointingly, of course (not helped by my colourblindness).

      As for sex toys - not all of us are as flexible as you, Hound! Now, where did I leave those poo bags...?

  9. There was something with pictures, right ?

    1. Oh, I think so? Something along those lines anyway, Mago...


Tickle my fancy, why don't you?