Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Cowbag


 Ug. What a week! And we're only half way through it.

 After our week and a half holiday, we returned to work on Friday just to test the waters, then had the weekend to get over the horror. Mondays are always ghastlier than a thousand ghouls, and this Monday was no exception. Work wise, anyway. Having returned home at 6:45 pm, boiling hot, hungry, tired and grumpy, Indescribable called. Yes, she and Babyzilla were at The Parents!
 Indescribable wanted to go and see Jurassic World, but didn't have a Babyzillasitter as The Mother and The Father were going out. The last thing I wanted to do was 'zillasit, but unluckily Inexcuseable stepped in. She said she'd look after Babyzilla so I could go to the cinema with Indescribable (as she didn't want to go on her own). Oh, great. Going out on a 'school night'. And a Monday, at that!
Gitface (in black) and Car (in red)
 By this time it was 7 pm and the film started at 7:10, so you can imagine the rushing around that took place. I quickly de-worked (got changed), stuffed my face with a melted and partially-reformed Wispa bar (that had been in Inexcuseable's husband's lunchbox for the past week) and a couple of biscuits, hightailed it over to The Parents' in Car (which was still reasonably cool inside as I'd had the climate control on for the drive back home from work) closely followed by Inexcuseable and her husband in their car, had a quick cuddle with Babyzilla before dumping her on Inexcuseable and jumping back into Car with Indescribable. We made it into Cromer in excellent time (it's only a couple of miles away), found a parking space right by the cinema, and got our tickets and Minstrels* (no queue - yay!). And, unlike the last time I went to Cromer Regal Movieplex, the air-con was working - thank the gods!

Chris Pratt about to straddle a throbbing machine!
 Jurassic World was OK, but there was a glaring mistake that took me right out of the film: Chris Pratt remained fully clothed throughout! What the-? No gratuitous shirtless scene. At all! The closest we got was near the beginning, when Bryce Dallas Howard went to his ranch to get him to come and inspect the Indominous Rex enclosure and he was wearing a tight-fitting T-shirt-type affair that showed off his ample muscles, but still...
 So, we got back to The Parent's just after 9:30 pm, chatted for a bit then I made my excuses and left. At home, I hastily wrapped Inexcuseable's birthday presents (it's her birthday on Tuesday) and went to bed.

 In no time at all, it was Tuesday morning and another day at work was beckoning. Sigh... It being The Birthday, I was expected at The Parents' with my sisters for tea. By the time I got home (around 6:45 again), Inexcuseable and her husband had already left, so I quickly de-worked, jumped back into Car, and drove to The Parents'.
 Everyone had already started eating by the time I arrived, and Babyzilla was being a little cowbag. Eventually, The Father told her off which resulted in a trembling, then stuck out bottom lip, accompanied by teary, snotty, half-fake sobs and pleas for a cuddle which we all had to ignore otherwise what was the point of the telling off! Babyzilla managed to keep up her 'poor me' charade for quite some time, but we eventually relented after she'd calmed down somewhat and guess who she came straight to for a cuddle? Yes, me. She cheered up no end after she'd stuck her thumb in her mouth and continually pinched my ear with her other hand. Poor little cowbag.
 When it was time for pudding, she jumped off my lap and devoured her little bowl of ice cream. Then, as the rest of us were still eating ours, she determined who was the biggest soft-touch and approached with her mouth open for some of our ice cream - rather like a baby bird. But unlike with birds, we weren't about to regurgitate ice cream into her open mouth, although I have no doubt she would have accepted it. Naturally, I was her first port of call, then Inexcuseable followed by "Gandad" (she soon forgot the telling off when she noticed he still had uneaten pudding), her mum (Indescribable), and finally Inexcuseable's husband. "Ganma" was ignored as she didn't have any.
 After Babyzilla had been put to bed, it was time for us to leave but I made a terrible error before we left: I reminded The Parents that I wasn't working Wednesday and Thursday. Suddenly, my days off had been vanquished by decorating duties! The Parents are thinking about moving, and want some wallpapering and painting done. And wouldn't you know it, I was conscripted immediately!

 So, it's now Wednesday morning and I'm due at The Parents' at lunchtime, but first I have some cakes to make.

 Bugger.


* As in chocolate, not the medieval singer or musician.
 

8 comments:

  1. All I can say is: FOOL

    You should know better than to volunteer! Or put yourself in the position of being volunteered.

    Hush about Jurassic World. I'm hoping to see it with The Great Ursus and his lovely.

    I'm going for the velociraptors, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  2. *splutters* You appear to have forgotten to include a shirtless picture of Chris Pratt to illustrate how the film could have looked!!
    Have you been unhinged by the heat and sugar overload?
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  3. A Chris Pratt fully shirted, the whole film, is just not right!!!! They should have gone with Chi Chi LaRue as director damn it. Plus there would have been much more action surely. It's hell being gay and talented in a family isn't?. A queens works is NEVER DONE! Hence why you better behave, I leaving shortly in a few....and I won't be with MJ!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I would like some cake ... and a ride in one of those spiffy Alfas!

    PS: Which models are those?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Roses: I know. It was just a slip of the tongue. I should cut it out really, but having no tongue would curtail other activities...

    The chickens- I mean: velociraptors - in Jurassic World are pretty badass! Much like your own!

    Ms Scarlet: Well, my sugar thermometer almost exploded when I tested myself, so I think you're right. I posted a shirtless pic of Chris here, but you'll have to scroll down to the end for it :(

    Mistress Maddie: I should have asked for my money back!

    Have a great time at the beach!

    Norma: I hear you. In fact, I'm drinking a G&T right now!

    LX: Cake and a ride? Not at the same time though as I don't want crumbs all over the upholstery!

    Gitface is a GT 1.8 Blackline (that I no longer have - that photo's a year or so old), and Car is a 156 2.0 JTS Turismo that I've had since 2004.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Poor little Cowbag... certainly knows that uncle witchface is an easy touch... she's a bright one that one! I have similar issues with nieces and nephews... I think I must have "I'm a Soft Touch" printed on my forehead... I also suffer from "big mouth" syndrome often unwittingly finding myself volunteering/being volunteered for something before I have even finished speaking... (sometimes we are our own worst enemies)

    I'd feel a little ripped off too... having only been taunted by a tight fitting T shirt...

    ReplyDelete
  7. What has happened to us, Princess? How did we end up like this?

    I'm going to have to watch Thor, and Thor: The Dark World for gratuitous Chris Hemsworth flesh to get over it all!

    ReplyDelete