And the winner is...

... announced further down. This bit up here is for the build up.

First, a word from the Queen of the Elf Shorts, Andrea Knapp:

And now, without further ado, 

may I present the almosts and not quites:

Before we get to the runners up, 

we'd better have some heckling from the crowds:

So, on to the runners up:

Don't get your hopes up for a runners-up prize or anything as I'm fresh out.
Sorry.

And the winner is:

.

.

.

Congratulations Princess!

Yes Princess, you have won the much coveted, and always reviled, Freakin' Green Elf Shorts! And, you've not only won them for yourself, but for your country, too. This is the first time that the 'Shorts will be in Australia, and only the second time that they've travelled into the southern hemisphere.
Just don't let them escape once you have them, as they are an invasive species and will quickly become a threat to Australia's unique biodiversity.

I still have your address somewhere, but I'll email you to be sure before I send them off.


Thank you to everyone who took part to make this compo a success. Special thanks to Rimpy for his copious 'Shorts-based ejecta - You were so very close to winning. There was much gnashing of teeth and fingernails as I was deciding between you and Princess.
Good luck to everyone when Princess holds the compo. Which I'm hopeful will be soon. 

Dr De Vice's Dental Clinic is only loosely affiliated with the Infomaniac House of Beauty and cannot be held responsible or accountable for any mishaps or misery caused by the aforementioned institution.