Monday 29 March 2010

Triumphant Tin Foil Hats

I know many of you have been waiting for this moment with baited breath, so, to prevent anyone keeling over from asphyxiation, I shall now declare the winners of the Tin Hat & Tales Compo! And here to present the awards are ABBA!

Uh, oh. Someone obviously didn't get the proper message. I'll just have to host these awards myselves.

As I explained in an earlier post, there are two winners: One is the winner of the Popular Tin Foil Hat, as voted for by you, the blogging public. The other is the winner of the Technical Tin Foil Hat, as chosen by myselves.
So, without further ado, may I present the winners:

Popular Tin Foil Hat Winner: Eroswings, with his Tin Foil Hat London Olympics!

It's no surprise that Eros' hat won the majority of your votes - Just look at the detail: The intricate Olympic rings, the torch, the athlete. Eros also used up his entire tin foil supply to craft his masterpiece, so his prize shall reflect this: A Teflon cooking mat! Eros, you'll never need foil again!
Runners up were: Eros again with his Hermes-inspired Tin Foil Hat Wings, and Princess' glamorous creation.

Technical Tin Foil Hat Winner: Princess, with her Empress-Dowager-thwarting, disco-ball'd-daywear tin foil hat!

This was a very difficult category to assign a winner in. My cold, dead heart wanted to give xl the prize for such a cute chapeau, but then my head (i.e. the SubCs) got involved and pointed out that it looks like xl spent more time carving the sponge into bunny-form than he spent fashioning the ear-hats. Would this be true, xl?
So, I turned to the entries that had followed the rules of the competition and submitted a
short technical description of the hat's functions, or a tale of Mother-thwarting derring-do to go with it. That meant that poor, sick 'Petra was immediately ruled out. Eros was next to fall due to the fact that his (technically excellent) hats seemed to be displayed on some sort of gigantic zit or boil - very off-putting. He'd have won if only he'd worn the hat and only the hat in his picture!
Choosing the winner from the remaining two contestants came down to one factor as both were displayed on very glamorous models and both were perfectly accessorized: The specs/tale. Unfortunately, MJ seemed to have lost the plot and created a hat that actually attracted, rather than repelled, which left Princess with her tale of
Mother-thwarting derring-do as the winner. Congratulations! Your prize consists of some highly delightful cocktail parasols and an intriguing rubber-cum-crystal ball!

Just remember I said the prizes would be cheap!

Finally, here is my tin foil hat in all it's glory:

As you can see, the cone is angled backwards for aerodynamic superiority while piloting Broom. The brim is fully adjustable for various speeds and can also be flipped up to act as an air-brake. The pointed, beak-like visor shields my eyes from the wind and also protects my identity. The hat is double lined to prevent even the most piercing Mother mind-beam from penetrating it and, therefore, reading my most secret thoughts.

So, there you have it. Thank you to all those who entered and voted - You've made this compo a success!


  1. OK, first of all I have no hesitation in saying that Eros' hat is better than the actual games will be. Seriously. I'm still awed by it.

    Secondly, I raise an eyebrow 'Carry-on-stylee' at your mention of "intricate Olympic rings," and await with glee MJ's inevitable smut-fueled comment about you having an eye for intricate rings.

    Oops - I've gone and done it myself!

    Still, I do hope MJ chimes in.

    Finally, you're sending Princess a rubber-cum ball?! Disgusting - OUTRAGEOUS! Pure filth.

    Apologies for the lack of barechested tie wearing; I got in late last night and was too tired to be arsed to do it. And it's too late now. HA!

  2. Oh look, even George Takei's husband is getting in on the act:

    Oh my!

    Nice hat, btw; how did you 1970s era Tom Baker to model it?

  3. I still can't believe I didn't win!

    At least MJs piss poor attempt didn't get any points either.

    Wv: decomp (fitting with MJs 'design' and I use the term loosely)

    very well done Princess and Eros

  4. Tim: You obviously can't help but get right in with those intricate rings, can you?

    Perhaps I should send Princess a pair?

    Your penance for the lack of bare-chested hat & tie wearing is to post a pic of you in all your paint-splattered, bare-chested glory!

    It's nice to see that I've started a celebrity trend. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

    I think you'll find my hair is more Adrian Grenier than Tom Baker.

    Poor 'Petra. We'll just blame your brush with death, shall we?

  5. Or you could just give me a prize?

    It would all be a lot easier that way.

  6. Wait did someone just open up a wormhole? I think I heard the 90s call out. They want their hair back.

  7. Congratulations to the winners!

  8. Do you think I paint topless like some kind of common functionary?! OUTRAGEOUS!

    Ha ha ha - that link you posted featured ads for 'gay mature dating' with pics of two dusty, grey-haired old geezers. Those Google ads are getting really good at targeting you, aren't they? What with you birthday last week an' all!!


  9. Oh, I feel like I just won gold at the Olympics!

    *does a victory lap around the blog and waves to the crowd*

    Thank you! Thank you!

    And congrats to Princess, too!

    By the way, that is an orange bowl turned upside down to hold my tin foil hats--I've got it in lime green and lemon yellow, too!

  10. My Dear Mr De Vice,

    How Marvelous!
    The "Winner" of the

    "Technical Tin Foil Hat" Catagory.

    Princess is touched very deeply and, overwhelmingly delighted to be chosen as winner and is i assure you, a humbled and very gracious recipient of such a coveted award.
    On behalf of my "fellow Bitches" I would like to say thankyou to all at Castle "De Vice" for providing such a wonderful oppertunitiy to display all of out creative streaks!
    Kudos to Mr Eros on his popularity win.

    I my opinion we are all winners.
    But thank you all again..

    Your prize consists of some highly delightful cocktail parasols and an intriguing rubber-cum-crystal ball!

    Oh... and what does one do with a "Cum filled rubber ball"? oops... rubber cum crystal ball?

    *joins Eros for victory lap of blog waving to the cheering masses and a weeping Petra*

  11. First of all, what the hell is HEFF doing here on a homosexualist’s blog? Obviously he took a wrong turn at the beer store.

    Congratulations to our deserving winners, Eroswings and Princess. Both STUCK TO THE RULES and created works of art. Their creativity is to be commended.

    Tim has said what needed to be said about your eye for “intricate rings”. All those years you spent trolling down at the docks before you settled down really honed your skills and natural instinct for spotting intricate rings.

    And now that you HAVE settled down, I see you’ve let yourself go with that hair-don’t. You could have at least run a brush through it for the photo session.

    And what on earth have you swallowed that’s caused your throat to bulge so? Have you swallowed the disgusting rubber-cum-crystal ball? Well that just proves that you swallow and don’t spit, doesn’t it?

    All in all, I’m just glad to see you’re not wearing orange for a change.

    CyberPoof and XL and I await our consolation prizes in the mail.

  12. 'Petra: The 90s can do one. I'm keeping the hair!

    Mago: Indeed.

    Tim: Actually, those Google ads presented me with designer handbags when I clicked on the link. Perhaps those gay geezers were meant for you?

    And I would never call you common.

    Eros: Oops! Blame the colour blindness - I'm hopeless with red orange & green!

    Your win was very much deserved after you put in such hard work and dedication.

    As was yours Princess. Your prize can be used to keep those houseboys entertained, or for you to peer into the future. The cocktail umbrellas are an additional gift to replenish your stocks - You must get through so many!

    Heff: In a good or bad way?

    MJ: I salute you for your rebellious entry, and your defiance of convention. It won't get you a prize this time, though.
    Neither will insults!

    You might be pleased to hear that I haven't worn orange in several months. I thought classic black would be best for a public outing such as this.

  13. Damn! This is a result of what happens when I frequent your blog!!

    I wonder if I can offset it by visiting…

  14. By the way, your tinfoil hat is so smooth and shiny! And I like the room colors--green and light with the wood furnishing. Very nice. Is that a book or a floral art piece at the headboard?

  15. Tim: I don't know why you bother. Perhaps you should just take a leaf out of Ricky Martin's book and come clean?

    Eros: Thank you for the compliments. The item in question is a piece of art (there's another one behind my hat!) which I've been meaning to put up on the wall for months now - I just haven't got around to it yet.

  16. Congrats to the winners!

    Well, actually, I didn't carve the bunny. It is an off-the-shelf Peep. Thank you for liking it!


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