Thursday, 4 May 2006

A Tribute to Fuckkit

Yes, I know she's not dead (yet). But when she goes to Australia (she might as well be - all those spiders and snakes and insects and drag queens) who am I gong to bicker with? And race with to be first commenter? And who'll plot their terrible revenge against me when I say something truthful nasty? Or, Heaven Forbid, deny cake to?


Alas, dear Fuckkit, I'll have probably forgotten you by the time you get back, so Good Riddance and all that.

Lots of love,

The Wicked Witch of Inexplicable DeVice

P.S. I hope you have a fantastic time. I'll miss you... At first!

* writes letter to the Prime Minister of Australia giving him the lowdown on Fuckkit and how to appease her with cake etc *

P.P.S. Bye

* waves and wipes away a tear *

P.P.P.S. * of joy *

P.P.P.P.S. Shit. Must stop being so nasty.

* wipes away a tear of sadness - really *

Bon voyage, Fuckkit. Get reconnected real soon over in Oz. We can't wait to hear of The New Adventures of Fuckkit!


  1. Oh there are far scarier things in australia then snakes and spiders - like me for example. And our prime minister. And warm lager.

  2. I'm touched and not in a filthy lesbian fish finger way.

    *wonders if IDV has discovered I sold his broom for firewood yet*

    So they do have warm lager in Oz! Oh good, because I was worried I'd have to bring my own.

  3. Ummm. Warm lager? Where are you drinking Jungle Jane?

    Plus NEVER order Fosters here. Fosters is a joke in Australia. As far as I can make out, Fosters is like ordering a Crown Lager. Which is seldom on tap.

  4. Wonderful tribute, ID. /wipes away own tear/

  5. Yers. Fosters is something we sell to the Americans in revenge for McDonalds.

  6. May dear Fuckitt pass onto this other world of Australia carefully and safely. A poem in her honour shall be smithed.

    Kind Regards


  7. what a lovely tribute IDV. Especially when one considers your personal know, the fingers, the cake, everything!

    Yes, I'll miss our dear Fuckkit. Hopefully she stays connected while gone.

  8. A touching tribute to a beloved blogger.

    Fosters in Blighty is about 4% like Carling.
    Back in the early 70's it was only availabe from 'The Duke of Arbamarl' a pub near the Quantas HQ in London. It came in tins left in ice buckets. It was totally different.
    Then, it was very sweet and strong.

  9. Just thought I'd drop round and give you my germs.


    Bye then.

  10. I agree Spike. Fosters is a warm and foul revenge for McDonalds.

    god, it really is a foul drink. If you can call it that.

  11. Mmm. Warm Fosters. Do you think they'll allow me to mix it with lemonade and call it shandy?

  12. You're in with an excellent chance of beeting fuckkit to my latest post which may be of interest to you, entitled 'Bum Shag'

    Unless of course, you're your usual slack self.

  13. Do they have computers in Oz?

    Oh, and while I'm at it, are all the girls really called Sheila?

    And is it true that they smoke rudiculously massive spliffs rolled with giant, wooden Rizlas that make loud booming noises?

    How do they flush it down the bog if a policeman turns up?

  14. Do you think they'll allow me to mix it with lemonade and call it shandy?

    Only if you wear blue eyeshadow and orange lippy and call everyone love.

    Do they have computers in Oz?


    are all the girls really called Sheila?

    Nup. Some are called Shazza.

  15. FT, you may be thinking of a didgerydont.
    or a bong

    No you're right they're giant wooden Rizla's.
    Stupid upside down cunts.

  16. *walloping Tickers from my position standing on the ceiling*

  17. The girls aren't just called Sheila and Shazza. Some of them are called Kim. And some of them are called Cath. You might also bump the occasional Pru or Trude.

  18. A digerido - or as I am wont to call them a "Spit Stick" CAN be used as a spliff, but fuck my old boots, you'd be a little 'over the top,' to do so at anything other than a party.

  19. Cooee! Fewclewz, where's your blog? Great name, btw and thanks for dropping by.

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  21. Anonymous6/12/07 04:40

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