Saturday, 18 November 2017

The Very Mistress MJ Diaries


 For those of you who didn't buy a copy last year (why not?), good news!  The Very Mistress MJ Diaries is back by popular demand, entering its third print run just in time for the Winterval gift-giving occasion of your choice.

 You've already seen the amuse.bouke.cusp excerpts (or you will do if you click the link up there), so the following are some of my favourites that I didn't get time to share last year.












 You'd better snap a copy or two up now, as they're bound to sell like hot cakes before The Very Mistress has them recalled!

::



[All images via gallerybackup.net except Plumbing (awalexander.wordpress.com) and Moon Lander (howdenshirehistory.co.uk)]

34 comments:

  1. Just the 9th Century..?

    I've placed my order - a perfect gift for Mother, methinks. Jx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, dear. The editor obviously overlooked the "BC"...

      Delete
  2. Did we really need to see her plunge pool though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, there is a warning sticker for the faint of heart or easily repulsed on the front cover. I probably should have started with that...

      Delete
  3. No doubt you'll hear from her lawyer, when he finishes with Harvey Weinstein.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It appears he may be some time. Certainly plenty of time for me to gather some essentials and make a leisurely getaway.

      Delete
  4. What a fabulous and adventurous life she lives! Who's watering the plants while she's on the moon?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe she left a small contingent of HouseBoys to deal with such things. Oh, and Norma and Peenee of course.

      Delete
  5. This would make a cracking 2018 calendar.... Erm...I will place my order.... but excuse me whilst I visit the loo.... oops, too late.... My plunge pool has released....
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, no! Release the spillway! Crank the valve piston!

      Gah! Too late! All the calendars have been flood damaged.

      Delete
    2. Where's Trump when you need him with those paper towels?

      Delete
  6. Plunge pool? PLUNGE POOL?!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love the pictures and would also like a calendar!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've found one that's not been too damaged by Ms Scarlet's flooding - only the back cover and half of December is a bit moist...

      Delete
    2. It will cost you, Hound of Hecate.

      Delete
  8. "Henchman" has (at least for my taste) such a garotty sound to it, could we go with myrmidon ? Or knave, as knight LẌ is surely entitled to have a loyal donzel or squire. Just don't call me Sancho, hey !
    Say, on the front cover, that isn't Mitzi by chance ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooh, Myrmidon Mago! Yes, that's much more suitable. At least it won't sound like you're a useless bumbling servant like an Igor, or any number of rubbish Supervillain assistants.

      Mitzi?

      *squints and lowers light levels*

      Could be...?

      Delete
  9. With a little tweaking, the Mistress Moon Lander will make the Kessel Run in 11 parsecs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tried to read the wiki article about "parsec" and gave up after the first line.
      So I guess this is "really" fast, yes ?

      Delete
    2. Parsec is a unit of distance, not time. It is a mistake in Star Wars; Kessel Run. Nerd stuff. Sorry.

      Delete
    3. Ha hah hah haa!! Good one, LẌ!
      Nothing like a bit of nerd humour.

      Delete
    4. Oh, and I meant to say: don't tweak too much or she'll fly apart!

      Delete
  10. I'm glad someone is shining a light on the dreadful conditions the Mistress makes us lackeys slave under.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *snuffs out Peenee's candle*

      Delete
    2. I'm sure that's a euphemism. Jx

      Delete
    3. I do what I can, Peenee.

      ::Pssst! I'll see if I can smuggle in a box of matches when she's not looking::

      ::That's not a euphemism::

      ::is it?::

      Delete
    4. I don't care. I look better in a gas mask than she does on a good day. If she ever had one.

      That is not a euphemism.

      Delete
    5. I'll have you know, Peenee, that I once had a good day, back in ... when was it?

      Delete
    6. 2007 or 2008 when I came to your blog.
      Sliding since.

      Delete
  11. Wait, there's a book or a calendar? Or have I missed the entire subject again? *sigh*
    xoxox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry, Savvy. It's not a contest, this time.

      Delete

Tickle my fancy, why don't you?