Saturday 3 December 2016

Beach Borg


  Amongst the sand, sea, chalk, and seaweed of West Runton beach, lurks an infiltrator from that race of unfeeling, uncaring, cybernetic perfectionists: The Borg.

  This one appears to be only a probe, which probably crashed here in Victorian times - just look how steampunk it is! But don't let appearances fool you. Borg can lay dormant for decades, if not centuries, just waiting for someone to get close enough to warrant a good poke with their assimilation tubules!


  This sign from West Runton beach is clearly missing a yellow warning triangle instructing beachgoers to Beware of old-timey Borg!


  Who knew North-Norfolk's beaches could be so dangerous?!

  Well, you can judge for yourself how dangerous they are in my next post which will be crammed full of photos from today's walk along the beach from Cromer to Sheringham and back.

 

20 comments:

  1. Ooh do you think whatever the Health and Safety profession's professional body is called has its convention on the beach there? It's really scary!
    I'm still hoping to see you in your cossie lol

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    1. It IS really scary!

      And by that I mean me in my cossie.

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    2. Is this a subtle way of saying these are pictures of your cossie? Surely that's taking steampunk too far!

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    3. Well, my chastity belt was in the wash...

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  2. Looks to me like an old safe.Might be worth having a crack at it,Raffles!

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  3. Oh Mr.DeVice!!!!!!! I had wondered where my safe of jewels went. With the mishap on a cruise, I knew it was bound to wash ashore sooner or later. You shall be awarded.

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    1. It's a good job your safe is so sturdy. Just imagine how many Titanic-esque incidents may have occured if it had broken apart and released your iceberg-like diamonds!

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  4. Replies
    1. Whatever it could be, I'm imagining it happening to "An der schönen blauen Donau" by Strauss...

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  5. I see the safety council is still working out the pictograms for some of the warnings... Perhaps they could zap and shrink a stray Kayaker or Stand up Paddler... Is that a guy that tells jokes from on paddle board?
    They don't mention "Beware of uncovered groins" funnily enough...

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    Replies
    1. I shall be most interested to see the pictogram for "Beware of uncovered groins"...

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    2. My mother warned me to beware of groynes.

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    3. I'm not surprised, Mistress, as they can be slippery, overgrown, and riddled with all sorts of small life-forms, including crabs!

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  6. Why do they not simply put up one sticker and label it "Beware of everything !" ? And what are "inflatable users" ?

    The Borg object looks intimidating enough ... it's not a mine by chance ?

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    Replies
    1. That "inflatable users" warning is because West Runton is the getaway holiday destination for a goodly sized population of blow-up sex dolls.
      Unfortunately, some of them get used as lilos...

      The Borg is yours?! I always thought they came from Sweden, not Franconia?

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    2. Ha Ha Ha!!!!! I love the term 'Inflatable users' - we should nick this sign and put it somewhere on the Piccadilly Line.
      Sx

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    3. Me too!
      And while we're at it, we could swap w and v for f and r in "Beware of wave dodging".

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  7. Björn came from Sweden, but this beach Borg is yours and yours alone !
    With these protruding things it reminded me of a mine, like in "Yo, Borgen, let's blow up that ship !"

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    Replies
    1. Next time I'm down there, I shall look out for a large crater...

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