Sunday, March 08, 2015

UFO?


 How embarassing. I've just discovered that I've been mistaken for a UFO!

~ ~ ~

 I was flying back from Svaathor's last night - he'd invited me 'round to look over his latest research into the family tree and to sample his newest muffin recipe - and, feeling peckish, decided to partake of one of the oat & apple muffins he'd packed up for me. I should have known better than to even attempt to open a tightly sealed Tupperware container while flying. Especially after previous attempts didn't go that well...

 Having extricated a torch from a pocket in my flightsuit, I had set about rummaging in my bag for the Tupperware encased muffins. Once found, I settled the container on my lap and set about opening it.

 Now, I don't know how many of you have attempted to open a Tupperware container while perched on a broom hurtling over the countryside in the middle of the night, but it's not easy. After struggling to do it one-handed while holding the torch in my other hand, I popped the torch in my mouth and set to the box with both hands. 

 And what a disaster that turned out to be.

 I yanked the lid off, but accidently knocked the torch out of my mouth with it, and watched in mild annoyance as the torch plummeted to earth turning end over end, the beam pirouetting like an out of control lighthouse. Needing some sort of illumination to ensure that nothing else had fallen overboard, I contemplated a spell to provide light but could only think of Hesprat's Incomparable Conflagration Hex. Quickly rejecting it as overkill, and being unable to think of any less explosive spell, the only remaining option was to charge the thaumic field surrounding Broom. So I rummaged once more in my bag, eventually finding Wand at the bottom, a bit sticky and covered in dust, crumbs and a couple of Fox's Glacier Fruits wrappers. Shaking off the detritus, I held Wand out until the tip came into contact with Broom's thaumic field causing a muted glow to surround us.

 Of course, that was the ideal time to hit some turbulence.

 As Broom pitched and yawed uncontrollably, the thaumic field's glow sputtered before finally giving out and plunging us into darkness once more. However, by this time I could see the lights of Cromer spread out a mile or so away, so I gave up on the notion of in-flight sustenence and directed Broom home to Castlette DeVice.

~ ~ ~

 So, this morning as I went outside to feed the birds, Inexcuseable was leaning over the fence talking to her sister-in-law's husband (they live next door). Anyway, he was telling her about the UFO he spotted approaching Cromer as he was driving back from Norwich last night. I just smiled in greeting and hurriedly went back indoors.

   

9 comments:

  1. This may be an opportunity in disguise! Next flight, tow one of those aerial lighted advertising signs. Light for rummaging about and pick up a little side income. Win-win!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Excellent idea, LX! Now we just have to come up with what I'd be happy advertising?

    ReplyDelete
  3. "to sample his newest muffin recipe -and feeling peckish, decided to partake of one of the oat and apple muffins he packed" is the code word for something, or just a Chi Chi Larue film?

    ReplyDelete
  4. maybe best not to leave the house?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Maddie: Well, Svaathor's certainly got plenty of oats to spread...

    But then, he's also partial to a bit of hay, so I'm going to go with Chi Chi LaRue.

    Norma: I agree. A day off work tomorrow it is, then!

    ReplyDelete
  6. her sister-in-law's husband

    Please don't try to addle me, Mr Devine, I am addled enough as it is without you trying to make me think whilst I am reading.
    Meanwhile, I think it's time you threw out that broom and invested in a Dyson Mega IIR3347, they are all the rage, and their lights don't fall off.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm so sorry, Ms Scarlet. I suppose now's not a good time to let you know I've just had a visit from my sister's sister-in-law, my brother-in-law's brother-in-law, and my niece-in-law once removed (or is it twice? Or is she just my brother-in-law's niece?)?

    In other news, while I'm not looking for a new Dyson, I am on the hunt for a Kenwood mixer!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'll have you know that Kenwood Mixer is a jolly nice chap... I see no reason to hunt him down as he is usually only too willing. He is my brother's uncle and has had all of his teeth removed.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  9. Then what does he mix with?

    Fine. I'll swich my hunt to my Ex, Moulin, instead.

    ReplyDelete