Thursday, 26 February 2015

Glitter is Forever

The Gincuzzi (slice of lime not pictured)
  "Sigh... Can I not have a moments peace?"
From the Gincuzzi in his mountain-top lair, Goldfing-longerer used his gold fing-longer to mute the sound from the episode of Ugly Betty that was playing on the crystal ball that was hovering over the gently bubbling gin & tonic he was reclined in. The Increasingly Displeased Villain scowled as one of his Plastic "no-tackle" Tim lackeys informed him that one of the neighbouring villains was at the front door.
A Plastic "no-tackle" Tim minion
 Shifting position to more easily extricate himself from the Gincuzzi, he suddenly started. "Oooh!" and fished around beneath the foaming surface with a look of surprised concentration on his face. "Ah, ha!" He pulled out a slice of lime, and held it aloft triumphantly. "Well, that certainly has rather put an end to my relaxation. I suppose I'd better do something about this visitor. Help me out, then!" Two more gold-panted Plastic Tims eased Goldfing-longerer from the tub while simultaneously wrapping him up in a bath robe and trying not to see everything.

~ ~ ~

Barbara Cartland's Gold Orbit hat
  A few minutes later, and fully dressed, Goldfing-longerer met his guest in the foyer with an air-kiss.
 "Ah, Gay Day" he said to the statuesque visitor, "do come in."
 "Thank you, GFL. Have you got somewhere to put my hat?" With a dismissive wave, Gay Day indicated the general vicinity of the front door where a towering gold chapeau leaned precariously outside.
 "Uh... I'll have one of the Tims take care of it. Wherever did you get it from?"
 "Oh, it was one of Barbara Cartland's. I got it from that garage sale she held when her book sales nose-dived." And with that, Gay Day swept into the foyer and headed towards the veranda leaving a trail of glitter and sequins in her wake.
~ ~ ~

Disco tea (via Aych)
 A little while later, having been set up with a Disco Tea on the veranda that overlooked the exquisite gardens, Goldfing-longerer and Gay Day were gossiping plotting world domination when they were interrupted by a flying saucer landing on the lawn in a space between a couple of Airstream trailers.
 "Ah. The Crimson Pussy's finally back" Gay Day noted as the final character of their triumverate sashayed down the ramp of the 'saucer discarding her faux-fur hooded parka on the way.
 "I see you managed to drag yourself away from that Tarot, Pussy."
 "And hello to you, too, GFL" Pussy replied. "Gay Day."
 "Pussy" Gay Day sneered.
 The Crimson Pussy poured herself a cup of glitter, but didn't sit down.
 "I've come to warn you that Bond and her cronies are on their way here" she said.
 "Well, what did you expect? That MJ6'd just ignore a load of gold corpses?"
 "Yes? Well, they were accidents, after all."
 "Ha!" Gay Day nearly choked on a glitterball.
Too embarassed to show his face after
being discovered at one of Gay Day's
glitter parties (via)
 "You can laugh" Pussy said. "They also found that poor Houseboy of yours who you tried to drown in your glitter pool."
 "Where are they now?" Goldfing-longerer asked.
 The Crimson Pussy looked at her watch, her glossy, scarlet lips moving slightly as she did some calculations in her head. "Probably at your front door, by now."

To be continued in... Goldfing-longerer


  1. The suspense continues!!!! From the last story sounds like Ms. MasterCard was a insatiable whore, I wonder if she will try to take Goldfing-longerer in the hot tub? Bond may also want a slice.

  2. The cats say they will be late for their next call due to being awakened from their naps by some loud wooshy noises, beeps, and bright flashing lights.

  3. Golly!... I hope we are at least at some sort of door... front or back I don't care...any old portal will do.
    The seats in this old thing are creating merry hell with my tired old arse...

  4. YES!!!
    I am a British villain!!! I always knew it.
    Where is my Oscar???


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