Wednesday 24 November 2010

Neighbourhood witch

SP came home with a surprise the other day. A child.

Naturally, I was ecstatic. After all, we'd got nothing in for dinner, so at least we wouldn't have to fork out for a suspect take-away. I started pulling out the largest roasting dish from the back of the cupboard but SP stopped me.
"It's not to eat" he said. "You'll upset the neighbour if you do."
"Oh, she won't mind" I said, chopping an onion and some broccoli to go with the kid.
"Yes she will. He's her child!"
"Oh" I said. "Oh, bugger."

It turned out the neighbour's other child had injured herself by pulling a drawer off its runners and onto her foot. SP had just left our house to take Moom for a walk when the neighbour had careered out of her house to rush her daughter to hospital and, finding a willing 'sitter practically on her doorstep, thrust her son upon SP and drove off.

I decided I'd much rather cook dinner (we had stew with mashed potatoes and broccoli in the end) than entertain a minor, so hid busied myself in the kitchen instead. I consoled myself by telling myself how high in cholesterol children are these days.


  1. In the Words of WC Fields to the question. "Mr Fields...Do you like Children?" His response "Only if they're well Done."
    So well done to you and SP.
    That is such a neighbourly thing to do. Looking after a kid for a desperate housewife...
    Did the victim of the draw attack survive or are you having fricasse of kiddie foot tonight?

  2. i wish i had a nice neighbor like you, sugar! xoxoxox

  3. Roasting the kid with onion and broccoli would be more humane than sending him through for a security groping at a US airport!

  4. You had to go and spoil it with the broccoli :-(

  5. Wow, they trust the likes of you to watch actual living things.

    No offence mate but I'd be hard pressed to let you watch my old shoes.

  6. You should've returned it with its head shaved and its face brightly coloured in using felt tips.

  7. I could never eat a whole one. Stir fry is apparently the best method of cooking.

  8. Thank goodness SP stepped in and amused the little one so you didn't have to. Good man that one!

  9. Did the child creature also eat the stew?

  10. Princess: Fortunately, the victim did survive. Although she had to have a hole drilled through her big toenail to relieve some pressure!

    Savannah: I'll even put your bins out and sweep your drive free from snow!

    xl: Which is why I won't be flying to the US anytime soon. Some of those security men have fingers like bananas!

    Uh, Oh. Now I've done it. BEAST will be booking his next holiday.

    'Petra: Funny you should ention shoes. I had a dream last night - See next post.

    Tim: Why is it that the good ideas always come when it's too late?

    Maybe next time, though...

    Roses: Ooh, stir fry. I haven't had one in a while. At least child flesh isn't as icky to prepare as chicken.

    Snooze: He has his uses!

    Miss Scarlet: Thankfully not - We didn't have enough for him. Luckily his mum had fed him earlier. He did have a glass of squash though.

    But didn't finish it! Ungrateful little git.


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