Monday, 22 April 2019

Rubbish. With knobs on!

 "That isn't a real beach" declared Hound, of my previous post.  "I can tell because there isn't a single condom, needle, nappy, dead animal or chav in sight.  It's a sort of John Lewis fantasy of a beach."
 Rubbish, I say.  With knobs on!  Of course this is a real beach.  Why, just look what I've found for you this morning, Hound.  Rubbish with knobs on.  Oh, and some graffiti at the end.
 But first...

Nice morning for it

Glinting, glimmering high tide

A drowned groyne

We'll have to follow the revetment at the end of the promenade to find any rubbish

Through we go...

... and out the other side, looking back

Behind the revetment lie the fantasy killers, such as this discarded container...

... and this plastic bottle...

... and this, uh, biodegradable lemon peel.  Is this it?  Is this the best we can do?

What about these polystyrene packing puffs?  Wait a minute... These aren't rubbish, they're whelk egg cases!

I hardly think a bit of smashed up revetment counts as rubbish.

Well  That's it.  That's all the rubbish I could find.  Perhaps there'll be more when the tide goes out?

Hang on.  We almost forgot about the knobs.

"Knobs!  Faahsands ov'em!"  Well, a few, at any rate

Ready for your close-up?


And here's the graffiti:

If I didn't know better*, I'd suspect that Ms Scarlet woz 'ere...

* I'm sure any graffiti left by Ms Scarlet would be better than this.  And there'd be capital H & E!


  1. I actually like the knobs! I think you should take them home and make them into a sculptural garden feature, they would give Beaky somewhere to rest his legs.
    AND NOW I KNOW WHERE CHARMAINE HAS GONE!!!! Expect a chubby teenage girl to be knocking on your door in 15 minutes time. She had been longing to travel far and wide, but before she set off I confiscated her nibs; looks like she's improvised with chalk on stone. It's okay, it'll come clean with a bit of spit and a hanky.

    1. Sorry it's taken a while to respond - it's taken until now to get rid of Charmaine. Blimey! She's a one, isn't she. And possibly a two, too.

      I quite like the knobs, too, but youy've already given me all the reason I need not to drag them home: I don't want to encourage Beaky to spend any longer than necessary in my general vicinity.

  2. See the stone set with graffiti
    See the revetment twist by our side
    I wait for rubbish

    Sleight of hand and twist of fate
    On a bed of knobs he makes us wait
    And I wait for rubbish

    With or without rubbish
    With or without rubbish

    Through the storm we reach the groyne
    You give it all but we want more
    And I'm waiting for rubbish

    With or without rubbish
    With or without rubbish

  3. Whelk egg cases are like something out of an alien film, aren't they? I remember finding them while rock-pooling when I was a kiddiewinky, and being at once horrified and fascinated...

    ...and your massive knob-fest is certainly very appealing! Jx

    1. Well, when it comes to massive knobs, why stop at one?!

      The whelk eggs really are quite bizarre. Don't look too closely at them though - something might pop out and launch itself at your face!

  4. I vaguely thought whelks were related to leeks. Hmm. And I agree with Scarlet, you should repurpose the knobchitecture as garden art pronto.

    1. I'd look carefully at the next chicken and leek pie (or potato and leek soup) that's laid before you, mrpeenee...

      I'm going to return to the beach this weekend and see whether I can prise that knob encrusted wood from those rocks. Although, even if I can, I doubt I'll manage to get it up the cliff as it's bloody massive!

  5. Goodness even the rubbish has been delivered by Waitrose. An empty mineral water bottle, and I swear that's organic quinoa and Himalayan salt I can see.
    Nice to see you haven't lost your edge and can still do a mean graf if your bloods want you to.
    I agree about the knobs, but I think you should hire a stall at Moseley flea market and sell it for quids in.

    1. This is not just any rubbish. This is M&S- wait. Wrong shop.

      I have to admit, it took me quite a while (ande several re-reads) to understand your "graf" and "bloods" comment. I wondered what on Earth you were going on about at first. Oh dear...

  6. Knobs! You nailed it!
    I'm going to take a camera and find something "intriguing" for you...

    1. Ha ha haaa!! I can't wait to see what mysterious object you might capture with your camera!


Tickle my fancy, why don't you?