Tuesday, 12 October 2010

Night* of the Living Lunch

The zombies seemed particularly eager this morning on my walk to work. As I upped my step from shuffle to plod to match their gait and, therefore, not draw any undue attention, I did a mental inventory of my bag in case I had to suddenly scarper to escape the massing hoardes. I wanted to be sure I had enough supplies to keep me going should the End Of The World arrive ahead of schedule.
I had a box of maple & pecan cereal that I had the foresight to put in my bag last night lest I forget to this morning. There were two apples, one from our tree and one from The Parent's, a slice of carrot & orange cake that The Mother brought around yesterday afternoon, and the wra-

Shiiiiiit! I'd forgotten my lunch!

I'd made a chilli chicken wrap this morning and left it in the fridge! I was so dejected that I thought about throwing myself in front of the nearest zombie and ending it all. Luckily, one of the SubC's stepped in and pointed out that SP may bring my lunch with him when he leaves for work so I could retrieve it from him at lunch time.

Not long after I got to work, I had an email from SP. He said he'd stop by my office and drop my lunch off when he comes to work. Yay! My belly's anticipation would get its just desserts. or main course, even.

Tragedy struck, however. He called me later - the line was really bad - and through his garbled words I heard him say he got stuck and couldn't make it. Oh no! I thought, I'd forgotten to tell him about the zombies! After I blurted out the story of my journey with the living dead this morning, he told me to stop being a silly witch and that he was just in a traffic jam. It turned out that there were no zombies milling about and that what I saw earlier must have just been the dead-eyed call-centre employees on their way to work. I wasn't convinced, though - I'm sure some of them must have been the undead.

SP emailed me again once he'd got to work and told me he gave my lunch to one of his work colleagues! Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh! My lunch!

* Although, technically, it was day...


  1. I am sorry to hear that you lost your lunch. Perhaps one of the new Coven members can turn SP into a toad or zombie. Whichever.

  2. *Throws IDV a potato*

    Get that down ya.....none of this wrapping your lunch meat in a girly pancake.

    Brought to you by the word verification


  3. xl: I think SP is already a little too zombie-like in the mornings.

    WV EEP! SID: It was quite a girthy meat pancake, I'll have you know!

  4. Well, there's no such thing as a free lunch. Didn't your mother ever tell you that?

    Now excuse me while I return to this cold and windy field, to wait for further Coven instructions.

    Could have given me a ceremonial cloak though, as it's a little chilly.

  5. SID: I doubt we’ll ever find IVD wrapping his “lunch meat” in anything girly.

    Oh by the way…you missed him in Hot Tub Homo.

  6. I bet that SP ate your lunch in the car and then made up the traffic jam excuse.....I know I would have :-)

  7. So did you starve? Or did you have something else?
    Were crisps involved?
    P.S I had also concluded that this SP character had eaten your lunch.

  8. I almost cried when I read your so-close-yet-so-far chicken wrap saga. I'm very big on lunch. But at least you got to eat your cake.

  9. Miss Scarlet I suspect your correct . I am betting he went out and bought Dairylee Dippers , a scotch egg and had a cheese and onion crisp sandwich

  10. MJ ~ I was unfortunate to visit that post. My eyes are still hurting.

  11. Well, I certainly you hope you had a big dinner waiting on you to make up for the lost lunch.

    I keep a cup of ramen noodles at work, in case I forget to bring lunch (or lunch money).

    I don't think I'd be able to have an appetite after spending some time in the company of zombies. All that decaying flesh smell would've put me off my lunch.

  12. I confess I went to Ronnies Choke 'n' Puke for lunch and was served by zombies.

    That reminds me...must sort out packed lunches. Unfortunately, I don't have an SP to bring me lunch. RDJ doesn't deliver...though his lawyers write strongly worded letters against my continued stalking.

  13. It’s The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition over at Donn’s blog!


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