Tuesday, January 19, 2010

An unpleasant entry


The garden was barely visible. A thick blanket of fog had fallen and was doing a remarkably good job of obscuring anything more than two or three metres away. I sighed and turned back to the soup.
And snapped my head back again as something out there caught my eye.
Did something move out there in the garden? Did something big just cut a swathe through the fog, only to have it rapidly close in again after it? Was I imagining things? Again?
Probably. I turned back to the pan of soup.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

I jumped
as I stirred the soup that was gently warming on the hob and spun towards the back door. A swarm of filthy, disgusting flies buzzed in through the gaps around the pulled-to door, causing me to recoil in horror. Before they reached me, the flies quickly coalesced into a figure. It was Izzkt. Or at least most of him - The rest was probably stuck to the fly-paper coils hanging in the sunroom.

"Ooh, I do wish you wouldn't do that" I said, holding my nose. "I told you I'd call you when it was ready. Pheeewwww!"


9 comments:

  1. An open box of baking soda could help absorb all the odors...or some citrus peelings...or a nice big can of Fabreeze.

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  2. Your wand could help you get rid of unwanted visitors, I'm sure.

    It sure scares Tim just mentioning your disco stick

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  3. The rest was probably stuck to the fly-paper coils hanging in the sunroom.

    Or to the back of Piggy's trousers.

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  4. Shut the fuck up, MJ. They probably emanated from your rancid crack.

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  5. Did something big just cut a swathe through the fog?

    Yes. Yes it did.

    Piggy’s arse.

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  6. I have often thought bachelors soup is the spawn of the devil and this just proves it . An unexpected cloud of flies can often mean its time to change your underwear
    Just saying!

    Oh hello Piggy , why is Miss MJ stuck to the back of your trousers

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  7. *shudders at mention of disco stick*

    PUT IT AWAY!

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  8. Lol! That's the problem with appearing with the help of flies...Or really any kind of bug for that matter.

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  9. Its just like that book "The Lord of the Flies" now we need a pigs head on a stick!

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