Sunday, December 31, 2006

A year in review

Hello and welcome to The First Annual Coven Awards.

Oh, they already know they're here - there's a ruddy great sign up there telling them so! Get on with it!
Hush up! I was looking forward to this.
Whatever for? You know what's going to happen.
Well. I...

Oh, for Christ's sakes! Will you two be quiet!
I kind of agree with them. Just get on with it - don't do a big speech or anything.
Right. Fine. I'll get straight to the point, then.

We'll see about that.

Thank you all for coming. Let's get on with the show - after leaving out the first ten minutes...

See. I told you old Witchface couldn't just start!

* Ahem *

The nominees for the award of Best Book, are: Burning Dreams by Margaret Wander Bonano, The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, Wicked by Gregory Maguire and Warpath by David Mack. And the award goes to * rrrip "mmfff" tear * The Time Traveller's Wife!

The nominees for the award of Best Film, are: Little Miss Sunshine, Serenity, Brokeback Mountain and X-Men: The Last Stand. The award goes to "Ooh. I can't get this one open. Hang on. Hang on... There!" Little Miss Sunshine!

Well. There's a surprise. I could've sworn Brokeback would get it.
I'm still reeling from the fact that The History Boys wasn't nominated instead of X-Men! This thing's a shambles.

The Best Male Actor nominees are: Daniel Craig for Casino Royal, Nathan Fillion for Serenity, Jake Gyllenhaal for Brokeback Mountain and Patrick Stewart for X-Men: The Last Stand. * rrip * And the award goes to Patrick Stewart!

The Best Female Actor nominees are : Toni Collette for Little Miss Sunshine, Famke Janssen for X-Men: The Last Stand, Michelle Williams for Brokeback Mountain and Abigail Breslin also for Little Miss Sunshine. "Who stuck this one down? I can't budge it! Mmmmph... Rrrrrgh..." *tear * "Aha!" And the winner is Michelle Williams!

The nominees for the award of Best TV Drama are: Battlestar Galactica, Lost, Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives, with the award going to * rrriiip * Grey's Anatomy!

The Best Factual or Reality TV nominees are: Galapagos, Planet Earth, Colin & Justin's Wedding Belles and Strictly Come Dancing. * tearr * And the award goes to Planet Earth!

The nominees for the Most Entertaining TV Couple are: Five's Colin & Justin, Teachers' Brian & Kurt, Malcolm In The Middle's Lois & Hal and Star Trek Enterprise's Trip & T'Pol, with the award going to * rrrrip * Colin & Justin!

The nominations for Best Delivery Service include: Parcel Force, DHL, Planet Express and Bihand, with the award going to * sliiiice * "Ooh, it's much better with this fish slice" Planet Express!

Best album nominees are: Ta Dah by the Scissor Sisters, Supernature by Goldfrapp, Electric Blue by Andy Bell and The Understanding by Royksopp. The award goes to * ssliice * The Understanding!

What? Supernature didn't win?! But he's been playing that practically every hour of every day!

The special award for Best Single Remix goes to Ewan Pearson for his Disco Odyssey (parts 1 & 2) of Ride A White Horse by Goldfrapp

The nominees for the Most Fanciable Animated Male are: Futurama's Philip J Fry, Disney's Aladdin, Pokemon's Ash and Dungeons & Dragons' Hank. And the winner is * tear * Fry!

A special mention has to go to Disney's Prince Eric, from The Little Mermaid, for being the best looking animated male.

Nominees for the Most Fanciable Animated Female are: Miyazaki's Princess Mononoke, Futurama's Amy Wong, Betty Boop and Battle Of The Planets' Princess, with the award going to * sliiice * Amy Wong!

The Most Fanciable Flesh & Blood Female nominations are: Smallville's Kristine Kreuk, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer's Alyson Hannigan, Grey's Anatomy's Katherine Heigl and Desperate Housewives' Eva Longoria. The award goes to * cut * Alyson Hannigan!

Oooh, did you see the look she got from Kristine Kreuk. Daggers, I tell you!

The Most Fanciable Flesh & Blood Male nominees are: Grey's Anatomy's Patrick Dempsey, Lost's Josh Holloway, Desperate Housewives' Doug Savant and Star Trek: Enterprise's Connor Trinneer. * sliice * And the award goes to Connor Trinneer!

Connor Trinneer also gets a special award for Best Sci-Figure

The Most Fanciable Animated Transformer nominees are: Bumblebee, Hot Rod, Soundwave and Arcee - if you like that kind of thing. * sliiit * And the award goes to Hot Rod!

A special award for the Best Blogger Adopted Saying goes to Patrick Stewart for "It's too late. I've seen it all!" from Extras. As championed by the Coven Of Hags.

2006: A year of IDV

January - A few more of the Supernaturals were introduced and the DVD player and I almost came to blows. There was an abundance of swearing because of the DVD player's reluctance to work properly... First time commenters included: Tina, The Lady Muck, Wyndham the Triffid, Piggy & Tazzy, The Merkin and S.I.D.

February - More trouble from that DVD machine, and from familiars and gargoyles. There was an incident with a sexy neighbour, a Wizard of Oz-like drama and IDV taught you how to Walk Through Rain Without Getting Wet. First time commenters included: Tickersoid (nee Steelworker), Brianne, Kyahgirl and Convict

March - A parallel universe disaster! A birthday! And the start of some Supernatural flirting! First time commenters included: Spike, Shiftclick, Frobisher and Beast

April - The month of porn, poo, poems and pesky sisters. Not forgetting the Brown Jelly Babies, of course. First time commenters included: The various Corpses Of Marcus Tal, Fuckkit, Qenny, Ickle_Bro, Miss T (nee Miss Haversham), Dinah, Jay and Dora & Tina

May - Good riddance to Fuckkit and an orbital chase after an errant Broom. First time commenters included: MJ, Midget Arse, NCEFABN, Fewclewz and The Blind Flaneur

June - Vexing vampire related family troubles and airship shennanigans. June was also he month of comment-flirting! First time commenters included: Tim, Snooze, Ken, Awaiting Xtasy, Toby (xxx) and Cyberpete

July - Ah. heat inspired questionning and the 100th post! No regular first time commenters now until November.

August - A book review, an eye full and a holiday

September - Postcards from the edge (of known space), Fuckwittage and a holiday horror!

October - A month of Vampiritis, being stalked by a Porsche-driving, possibly legless, um... stalker, errant time zones, Hallowe'en and a year of Blogging

November - Pictures, cartoon crushes and an unveiling. First time commenters included: Skillz and Mutleythedog

December - Supernaturals Return, disappearance, a brown accident with Father Christmas and The Four Stablehands Of The Apocalypse

And that's it for 2006. Unless I get caught up in another time-travelling accident and have to relive bits of it.

Anyway, from myself, IDV, and my Subconscious, and from the Host and his Subconscious, have a splendid 2007!

Bugger (last one of the year)


  1. Yay! I'm first!

    Happy New Year from Canuckistan!

  2. Ha ha ha!!! Awesome review, though I'm joining Kristen in giving Alyson daggers. The Kreuk was robbed I tells ya!!!

  3. Oh dear, the Scissor Sisters were robbed. Madness, bordering Madgeness.

    Happy new years.

    *raises champagne glass* here's to 007

  4. Patrick Stewart Forever! Mmm, and Prince Eric...bless you, IDV. You've promised that 2007 will start off for me with dreams of men (I really wanted a better adjective, but nothing was coming except 'unattainable', and that's not what I'm going for).

  5. Anonymous1/1/07 02:29

    I have a head ache. Did you hex me? I bet you bloody hexed me didn't you. It couldn't have been the cask wine I drank, I only had a couple of litres.

    Well I would wish you a happy new year but it would be a lie.

  6. Good shout on Amy Wong, but Mononoke could kick her ass seven ways from Sunday.

  7. MJ: Yay! You are!

    Tim: You should've seen the fight in the ladies' afterwards...

    Cyberpete: Yes, definitely - here's to Daniel Craig. Mmmmm...

    Dinah: Me either. 2007 must be The Year Of The Attainable Man!

    Fuckkit: A couple of litres? Or a couple of barrels?

    And it was only a small hex. You'd done most of the damage by yourself by the time I turned up.

    Skillz: She is a trifle clumsy, isn't she? Amy, that is...

  8. What Cyberpete said.