Thursday, 30 April 2020

Infomaniac Garden Photos Event Announcement

This is a public service announcement!

The House of

has announced a change of venue for its
10th Anniversary Garden Photos Event

And that venue is right here on this very blog!

 To say that I am honoured and delighted would be an understatement.  That The Very Mistress chose me to be the host for this prestigious event-
Some choice.  No one else volunteered!
Shhhhhhhhhhh!  That's neither here nor there.
Yes, let him have his moment.
What?  Why are you agreeing?
 When you lot have quite finished?!  Now.  Where was I?
 Oh, yes: this prestigious event.  Um...  Line?
You were going to say something about how grateful you were that
The Very Mistress couldn't be bothered to get off her quince an-
 I most certainly was not! Don't listen him, Very Mistress!  He's been afternoon drinking.  Again...
So have you!
 Yes, but it affects you more because you're smaller.  Besides, I'm only on our second glass...

 Oh, for christ's sakes...  Let's have some Q&As and photos while those two bicker amongst themselves:

Some sort of clematis on the paysho*
What does this mean?  What's going on?  Where am I?

 This will basically be the same Garden Photos Event that you all know and love except that it will be held here, at Inexplicable DeVice, rather than at Infomaniac.

New growth from Agapanthus (and Creeping Jenny) which
is surrounded by pots of Eucomis, my Pineapple Lilies
Who are you?  Will I have to do anything different?  I don't like change...

 We (my host and me, plus the pesky SubConsciousnesses) are a witch and have been a loyal Infomaniac Bitch for years and years and years.  And, other than emailing your garden photos to me and then visiting this blog to have a nose around everyone else's gardens, no, you won't have to do anything different.

A darling little wild violet amongst two young ferns
What did I just say about change?!

 Oh, okay.  We might introduce one or two small changes/ideas/themes...
 I was thinking that we might have a Terrifying Triffidery section - a place for photos of monstrous plants or otherwise ordinary plants that have been photographed from odd angles/close up/while drunk which make them look otherworldly. 
 Or, maybe, a Guess the Plant section consisting of (cropped) photos of plant parts?
 Anyway, just bear this in mind while you are nurturing and photographing your garden/balcony/pot plant/potato...
 Something that is staying the same though is that the Event will be held in the Autumn (Fall for you Americans, and Spring for Dinahmow and other Southern Hemisphere dwellers) so you have several months of growing and photographing to prepare.  I shall, of course, be posting reminders throughout the season (as will The Very Mistress, I'm sure) to make sure that you don't forget.

 Now, after all this hard work, I need a drink-
Your third!
 Whatever.  Here, have a look at my moist woodland garden while I get some more wine:

That's a blueberry in the blue pot

Oh, nice - a view  of the compost bins.  Where's that wine...?

 Oh, and next year it's someone else's turn to host the Infomaniac Garden Photos Event!

* Pronounced how it's spelled as "pat-ee-oh" is vulgar.  As you should know by now!


  1. I always look forward to the Garden show. And it will be nice to rotate the event, and keeping the drinking going all in between. Maybe there will be a LX memorial garden...or something to fluff? I will have take pictures at my mothers's the only place I can really garden.

    1. Perhaps a can of cranberry jelly on a pedestal in homage to LẌ? I like it!

      The Very Mistress's Garden Photos Event is one of the highlights of the year for me too. I just hope I can do it justice.

  2. I just knew that once this much-anticipated annual garden "show'n'tell" event passed from the Mistress MJ to yourself(selves) that we would see a distinct shift from utter filth and smut to a sense of anarchy and arcane behaviour.

    "Triffidery", indeed? We'll have to see what we can do... Jx

    1. Well, Jon, there'll definitely be a shift away from fat, naked old men. But a shift to what, I don't yet know...

      Oh, and I can't wait to see your Triffid!

    2. Well, I'm sure it'll be very impressive.

      Besides, I need to keep keep in practice for when Lockdown is lifted!

  3. You mean a freak section ? Plant perversion included ?
    But I have no paysho. What is a paysho ? I know some psycho(s), but will not include photos of them, this would be ugly.

    1. A "terrasse", dear Mago. A terrasse (I think?)

      Yes, we'll have all the freaks out on the the paysho/terrasse. Are your two plants still alive? That money tree and the poor, shrivelled aloe?

    2. Thy are in a better place now .... they live at my green-fingered neighbour, and do terribly well, putting my gardening talents to shame with rich green & vigorous "foliage" and shoots, ingrates that they are, tah !

  4. Ooh, goody! I could probably take some pics of the current jungle...

    1. Oh, yes! I always enjoy seeing your jungle, Dinahmow!

  5. Oh God. I am sooo bad at this green fingered malarkey, but I will try.

    1. I sincerely hope your Big Pink Bush™ will be making a showing, Ms Scarlet?

  6. I may purchase a vase of flowers and put it somewhere lovely, take a snap and let you all have a gander at my unruly bush

    1. We'd be delighted to peer at your undergrowth, 'Petra!

    2. Speaking of that. Have you celebrated naked gardening day today?

    3. Oh, no! It completely passed me by! Drat.

    4. You can still make up for it. It’s never too late.

    5. Well, it's a bit nippy out now...

  7. You know full well it's lanai a la Golden Girls. I don't garden, however I do dig but you don't want pictures of the result.

    1. I do recall mention of lanai, now that you bring it up....

      Come now, Hound, I know full well that you enjoy a spot of uphill gardening now and again. But perhaps you're right about not wanting photographic evidence?

  8. I like where you're taking this, Mr. DeVice.

    The event is in good hands.

    1. Thank you, Very Mistress. I'll try and do you proud.

  9. I used to call it a patio but my maid of all work Carmen, kept pronouncing it Pa'E'oh so I changed it to lanai, no glottal stop.


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