Redshirts

Beaky feeding a young Redshirt

  Despite it being just an ordinary day of little consequence, chores still need doing, things still need to be done, and plants, pets and other lifeforms still need to be fed, watered, and the like. 

 A little over a month ago, just after Tim's triumphant half-arsed return to blogging, we reluctantly agreed to look after his minions Army of Darkness, as he clearly couldn't be bothered with them anymore. 

And it's a good job we did, as he hasn't been seen since!

  Yes. Castlette Device and its modest estate is now home to some of the prettiest-
 And stupidest!
  And stupidest cannon fodder ever to grace the small screen: Redshirts!

 

A Redshirt assignment patch
fashioned out of leftovers
from Ms Scarlet's gown

  You might think we'd be more than a little pleased to have hundreds of strapping young men hanging around the place to pander to our every whim and desire, but that delight wore off pretty quickly.
 They need feeding, clothing (I've resorted to using old curtains and magazines to make their clothes), exercising, mental stimulation - as we just couldn't cope if they became any more stupid - and bathing. Many of the younger Redshirts also need hand-rearing, but we've managed to rope Beaky and his extended family in to do that.
  We also think that they're breeding somewhere as, despite all our care and attention, we keep finding dead Redshirts (in the tumble dryer, down the back of the sofa, behind the hot water tank, lodged up the chimney etc.) but their numbers never seem to diminish! 

  Look, we've got to go - I can hear them bickering about whose turn it is to wash the toaster and I don't think my sciatica can cope with digging yet another grave...