Sunday, May 08, 2016

Eye for an eye


 In a rare moment of socialisation, I went out for dinner last night with a few friends. Having primped and preened-
Not that it did any good!
Quite.
 Anyway... Having primped and preened, I gathered my wallet and phone as my friends pulled up outside the house castlette in their car. Squinting slightly in the dying rays of the sun, I walked down the driveway and waved as I approached the car. Just as I was about to step off the pavement, movement caught my eye. I turned and instinctively ducked as something dark and feathered arrowed through the air where my head had just been. Shit!

 Beaky!

 The little bastard let rip a shriek capable of curdling blood as he zoomed upwards and away from his attempted eye gouge-icide.
 I quickly got in the car and shut the door. My friends had witnessed the terrifying spectacle and were getting over their shock of Beaky's brazenness. They knew about Beaky, of course, but I don't think they quite believed my tales of Beaky's vindictiveness and sheer bloody-minded violence until then.



 Well, Beaky, you've done it now. I wasn't going to share these embarrassing images of you, but last night's attack leaves me no choice!

Lost your balance, have you?

The Ministry of Silly Walks called - They want you to be their poster boy, Beaky!


Urgh! No one wants to see your cloaca. Put it away!

Off balance again, I see. You're not very good at this, are you Beaky?

For gods' sakes, can't you eat with any decorum? Wipe your bloody beak!

 Uh, oh...

Yaaarrrgh! Run away!
 

24 comments:

  1. If you are going to operate an outdoor ice cream parlour in his presence, I say you get everything you deserve.

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    Replies
    1. Perhaps I can tempt you with an icecream - animal fat & mealworm OK with you?

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  2. Perhaps next time, he'll hide in the bushes and then sneak up on you in "cloaca and dagger" fashion.

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  3. Just send him over here to my bird arboretum.....ill refine him

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    Replies
    1. Make sure your other birds are on vacation first. You'll need all your time, wits, and wiles, to survive an encounter with Beaky, nevermind an attempt to refine him!

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  4. Awesome captures! Glad to hear you survived that assassination attempt. Was that Beaky's way to expressing his disapproval at not being invited out to dinner? Well, looking at these fotos of how he eats like a glutton with food all over face & with no sense of propriety, I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to be seen in public with him. He could certainly use some etiquette lessons, starting with no cloaca flashing during a meal! You do that afterwards, when dinner is over, to thank the person who paid for the meal.

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    Replies
    1. You've got it in one! Besides, he never pays for his share - always blames his lack of money on a deficiency of pockets (although, I bet his cloaca could hold a significant amount).

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  5. And there was me expecting to hear tales of carnage at your dinner party!

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    Replies
    1. If Beaky had come along, there would have been carnage. As it was, there was just gossip, mild bickering, and plenty of laughter.

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  6. Replies
    1. ::looks abashed::

      It's berry flavour. The other one's mealworm.

      ...

      ...

      Ohhh... That's why MJ likened it to icecream! I though it was just because it looks like scoops...

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    2. I'll have a coop of mealworm flavour please. With a flake. Jx

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    3. When you come across a crunchy bit, just swallow and try not to think about it.

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  7. I love blackbirds - savage beasts or not, however, they're not a patch on robins... Jx

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  8. Yes, I too was puzzling over the 'ice cream'!
    Like it or not Beaky is very handsome.
    Sx

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    Replies
    1. I have to grudgingly admit that he is very handsome.

      Doesn't make him any less of a git, though.

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    2. Oh, how many times have we used that phrase? J

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  9. Beaky is rather lush. I think you're mis-interpreting his behaviour. He just loves you and doesn't know how else to show his gratitude.

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    Replies
    1. Oh no you don't! Don't go getting Cilla Black-esque ideas about matching us up!

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  10. This is one cocky blackbird !

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    Replies
    1. I'd have him spatchcocked if I could lay my hands on him!

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