Tin Hat and Tales Gallery 2014: Flights of Fancy

 Welcome! And thank you all for coming to this, the preview showing of the 2014 Tin Hat and Tales Competition: Flights of Fancy. 
 I must apologise for the late change in venue. Unfortunately, the Tate - the original location - succumbed to a plague of Scraplets, so MJ very kindly offered the use of the Infomaniac Art Gallery, for which I am eternally grateful. Just don't venture into the west wing. Or the basement, for that matter...

 Anyway, on with the show.

Just look at those critical eyes.
Can you feel yourself withering under their glare?

 We invite you to cast your critical eye (or eyes, if you're not a cyclops) over these exquisite exhibits and let us know, in the comments, upon who you would like to bestow the winner's crown (made of tin foil, of course).

 First up, we have xl's submission: The Right Smurf

The Right Smurf

This entry honors the 53rd anniversary of the flight of the second American in space, Virgil Ivan "Gus" Grissom in Mercury-Redstone 4 capsule Liberty Bell 7 on 21 July 1961.

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 The second entry is from our gracious host MJ: Superman's Package

Superman's Package

Up, up and away!

Superman has a package for you!

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 Moving on, the third of our gallery submissions is by Ms Scarlet: Uranus Rising

Uranus Rising

 Ms Scarlet has graciously given a little background information about the creative process of her triumph of tin foil hattery:
  

Here is my hat... here is my story....
 

And so began the slow, torturous artistic process. Now that I was technically adept at tin foil modelling, I could at last focus my energies on artistic creativity. I retreated to my purpose built garret at the bottom of the garden and awaited for inspiration to take flight. It was not often that I was given a task of such import. Crawling through the back passage of my emotions, I re experienced hideous moments of my life that are probably best forgotten, it was a long and arduous journey, but I was determined to suffer for my art... and finally, when the sun was parallel to Pluto and Uranus was rising, my work was done.

The flight inspired tin foil hat, in all its explosive glory, stood before me. I was a shadow of my former self, but I knew that the 14 minutes I had spent creating it would benefit mankind for centuries to come.....

To be continued...........

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 Passing through the gallery, on our right we have - 

....just a way to get past security.
Have a wonderful contest! 
Norma

 What the...?! How did this get past the stringent screening process? This submission from Norma is clearly in violation of the Tin Hat and Tales code of etiquette!
 Oh, give it a rest. We need something to bulk this compo up a bit. Besides, how do you know Norma didn't resurrect Liz Taylor's ancient carcass, slap a bit of filler on and fashion the hat out of tin foil, flowers and... Are those cigarettes??

That's probably not even the real Liz. Norma probably made her out of wax, created the weird smokers garden chapeau and plopped the whole lot in front of a Freemason's luncheon.

So, what's with the urine sample she's holding?

 I must say: Bravo Norma! It's a masterpiece. However you created it.
 OK, OK. Stop gushing. Let's continue on to our fifth exhibit, shall we?

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 From Artiste Internationale, Mago: The Duck.

The Duck

I hate flying. At least sitting in a tin can and being shot to another continent has nothing in common with my idea of flying. I would board a balloon immediately. Or climb a board a glider. I would even sit my precious body into one of these Canadian post boxes that fly from lake to lake - but I hate jets. I flew in these machines twice in my lifetime - and the journey itself was without any hassle or inconvenience - both travels towards Southern destinations in Europe. But I can not fight the fear, strong martini helps.
I am not prone of levitation, but at one or two occasions in my lifetime I felt something that is best described as flying. One time I was playing billiards under the influence of mind altering substances, and at one point I was the ball on the table, within twenty minutes or so I was flying above the table. In this narrow space of time I could have done anything with the balls, and I did some really amazing shots. The second time is not for a blog.
So generally I'm flying like a dead duck, so you see the animal on my head - my personal totem. And because I like masks, and that sheet of tin foil just came in handy, that's it.

Deadlines ... pah ...

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The final submissions of the Flights of Fancy exhibit are just down here on the left, in the Eros Wing of the gallery. This collection has been kindly loaned by that Texan Tinfoil Trickster, Eroswings.

 How to travel quickly and safely in today's world.

Air travel is so complicated and burdensome these days with all the scanners and lines and so many regulations that seem to urge the air traveler to hurry up and then wait for a long time to catch a plane. To breeze through the checkpoints and scanners, I introduce entry number one:  The Snakes On a Plane hat.

Snakes on a Plane Hat

With your Snakes on a Plane hat, no airport screening agent will risk patting you down, not unless they want a poisonous deathly bite from your snake hat.  You'll just stroll right through the line to the boarding gate.  Bonus:  No pesky kids or annoying passengers will want to come near you, much less put their carry on luggage in your overhead compartment.

And when you arrive at your destination, say, for the World Cup Soccer games in Brazil, you can put on entry number two:  The World Cup Soccer Slayer hat.
  

World Cup Soccer Slayer Hat

You'll notice Christ the Redeemer on the mountain in the background, protecting you from evil spirits.  The soccer player has a wooden stake in his hand, not because he's playing field hockey, but because in Brazil, there have been confirmed sightings of
the notorious Uruguayan vampire, which sinks its teeth into its victims in broad daylight on soccer fields.  Keep the wooden stake on your World Cup Soccer Slayer hat close, because you'll never know when the Uruguayan vampire might fly out and try to sink its teeth into your shoulders.  So far, he's shown a preference to biting Europeans!

But the Uruguayan vampire isn't the only flying danger you should be worried about.  With all the pollution causing climate change, the world is more dangerous with more powerful storms creating havoc and disasters on massive scales never seen before.  Forget raining dogs and cats.  These days, you have to worry about sharks flying in the air in tornadoes!  Thus, our final entry, the Sharknado gear hat!

Sharknado Gear Hat

Your Sharknado gear hat is armed with a chainsaw to stop those flying sharks from chomping down on you!  And when you run out of gas or your chain breaks, use your ax to chop those sharks dead. Then reward yourself by using your chef's knife to make yourself some delicious sashimi and ceviche.  After all your hard work, you've earned yourself a treat!

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 Now that we have viewed all the entries, please show your appreciation by voting for the chapeau that you'd like to win. You have a week to cast your vote, be it in the comments, or by emailing me if you don't want to give anything away (email address in my profile). As before, there could be two winners: One that you, the voting elite, choose; plus a technical winner that I shall declare based on adherance to the rules. I shall be tabulating your votes at the weekend and announcing the winner/s on Monday 21st July.

 Don't forget: You can make donations in the foyer before you leave. The collection pot is next to the Silverbolt tin foil hat fashioned by ourselves especially for this auspicious occasion.
 

Silverbolt, by IDV