Ug. So tired.
I didn't sleep very well last night having been woken from dreams of things I can no longer remember by several large thumps and bangs, followed by the bed shaking. I thought it was another earthquake.
I was wrong. It was much more serious.
There was a monster under the bed.
|It's eyes... Like gimlets!|
(Artist's impression. The actual monster may vary)
The bloody thing was eating breakfast! So, not only did I have to deal with the chomping of massive jaws and crunching of bones, but also the rivers of drool seeping into my carpet.
As I staggered out of bed leaving the monster to its meal, I tried not to think about the devastation that was sure to await me downstairs. I mean: can you imagine the carnage caused by a sizeable monster dragging a kid through a cat-flap, and the state of our pots & pans cupboard as it rummaged for one big enough to fry a rather overweight child?
And, yes, now that I'm up, I'll get on with those final articles from wwwWOW!