Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Easter egg


 We are never getting eggs from the "farm" up the road again!


 Inexcuseable came back from her walk earlier with a box of half-a-dozen eggs. There's a house up the road where one can buy fresh eggs that come from the multitudes of chickens that scratch around up there. I think she's trying to be more "country".
 Anyway, she plopped them on the side and promptly went outside to get the washing in. I, meanwhile, had just finished de-nymphing the dishwasher (a story for another time) when I heard a rustling from the eggbox. Edging cautiously up to it, I reached out and flipped the lid open. Five of the six pale brown mottled eggs were sitting in their little pulped-paper nests not moving at all. The sixth was jumping around like a child on a tartrazine high. It was all very Ghostbusters!
 As I debated what to do, the egg cracked open sending tiny pieces of eggshell flying across the kitchen and revealed a coiled up something inside. I leaned in closer, squinting, wishing I had my reading glasses to hand. 
 Suddenly, the thing sprung out, launching itself at my face! It was a basilisk!
 I leapt back and flailed at the writhing creature with a teatowel (the only thing immediately to hand), attempting to keep it at bay and it's deathly gaze off me. By pure chance I accidently dropped the cloth, which landed over the monstrous little serpent. Quickly scooping it up, I elbowed the waste-disposal unit switch on and shook out the teatowel over the sink. I smiled in grim satisfaction as the basilisk fell into the grinding metal teeth and was smushed to smithereens!

 While I leaned back against the fridge catching my breath, Inexcuseable walked back in with her washing, completely oblivious as to my narrow escape. She looked over at the noisily churning sink then switched her sights on me before sweeping out of the room. Over her shoulder she said:
 "Next time, remember to run the water when you use the waste disposal unit."

8 comments:

  1. Yikes! I was afraid that the Basilisk was going to attach itself to you like the Alien Facehugger!

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  2. It had been a very Sigourney Weaverish day, LX!

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  3. That's put me off my scrambled eggs brekkie.

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  4. But it was only a baby! You have missed the opportunity to tame it into something useful.
    Any chance of gluing it together again?
    Sx

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  5. Are there ostriches on that farm? Good gawd that is a huge egg! I feel bad for the chicken that had to pass that out! The mottled coloring of the eggs makes me wonder...is the farmer Swiss and by chance does she work as an artist at the Infomaniac Art Gallery?

    Good job on the basilisk disposal. I've seen how big those things can grow. You all ready have one monster to feed. You certainly don't need another competing for attention and scaring away anyone coming over intent on saving your soul or selling you cookies.

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  6. MJ: What about poached?

    Ms Scarlet: I'm all out of glue, unfortunately. Do you think sellotape will do instead?

    Eros: Prepare to feel worse: It's the cock that lays the basilisk egg!

    As for the farmer/artist, it wouldn't surprise me if she had some connection to the House of Infomaniac.

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  7. Would you like to sample our breakfast menu?

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  8. Thankfully MJ, it's now suppertime in Blighty, so I'll pass, if it's all the same to you?

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