Tuesday, 22 April 2014
We are never getting eggs from the "farm" up the road again!
Inexcuseable came back from her walk earlier with a box of half-a-dozen eggs. There's a house up the road where one can buy fresh eggs that come from the multitudes of chickens that scratch around up there. I think she's trying to be more "country".
Anyway, she plopped them on the side and promptly went outside to get the washing in. I, meanwhile, had just finished de-nymphing the dishwasher (a story for another time) when I heard a rustling from the eggbox. Edging cautiously up to it, I reached out and flipped the lid open. Five of the six pale brown mottled eggs were sitting in their little pulped-paper nests not moving at all. The sixth was jumping around like a child on a tartrazine high. It was all very Ghostbusters!
As I debated what to do, the egg cracked open sending tiny pieces of eggshell flying across the kitchen and revealed a coiled up something inside. I leaned in closer, squinting, wishing I had my reading glasses to hand.
Suddenly, the thing sprung out, launching itself at my face! It was a basilisk!
I leapt back and flailed at the writhing creature with a teatowel (the only thing immediately to hand), attempting to keep it at bay and it's deathly gaze off me. By pure chance I accidently dropped the cloth, which landed over the monstrous little serpent. Quickly scooping it up, I elbowed the waste-disposal unit switch on and shook out the teatowel over the sink. I smiled in grim satisfaction as the basilisk fell into the grinding metal teeth and was smushed to smithereens!
While I leaned back against the fridge catching my breath, Inexcuseable walked back in with her washing, completely oblivious as to my narrow escape. She looked over at the noisily churning sink then switched her sights on me before sweeping out of the room. Over her shoulder she said:
"Next time, remember to run the water when you use the waste disposal unit."