* Brrrriiing brrrriing - Brrrriiing brrrriing - Brrrriiing brrrri- *
“Hello?” a frail old voice answered. Momentarily nonplussed, I didn’t respond. “Is there anyone there?” she asked.
“Ummm…” Oh, great start. I rolled my eyes with some assistance from The Host’s SubC. “Ummm… I don’t suppose Lucifer’s home, is he?
“Lucy? Eh?” There was some rustling before the voice muttered “Let me turn my hearing aid up...”
“Look” I said getting a little impatient, “Is he in? Are you his mum?”
“Oh, no, dear. I don’t have any children” she said.
Bugger, I seethed to myselves. I must’ve dialled the wrong number. Before I could say anything else, the old woman resumed talking.
“Ooh, there was that nice young man who lived here before me? I can’t remember his name. He had a lovely tan, though. If a bit on the red side. And a bit pointy, as I recall. Especially his hair. Looked like horns, it did!” She paused, but only for a second. “D’you know, it’s three years to the day since he moved out and I moved in. Fancy that! The old memory isn’t as bad as I thought.”
Weary from her diatribe, I tried to cut her off. “Excuse me. Do you have a forwa-“
“Oh!” She suddenly exclaimed. “And he had ever such a long-”
I shuddered and slammed the phone down before my imagination could run riot with whatever embarrassing horror the old bat was about declare.