Saturday, June 06, 2009


* Brrrriiing brrrriing - Brrrriiing brrrriing - Brrrriiing brrrri- *

“Hello?” a frail old voice answered. Momentarily nonplussed, I didn’t respond. “Is there anyone there?” she asked.
“Ummm…” Oh, great start. I rolled my eyes with some assistance from The Host’s SubC. “Ummm… I don’t suppose Lucifer’s home, is he?
“Who, dear?”
“Lucifer. Um.”
“Lucy? Eh?” There was some rustling before the voice muttered “Let me turn my hearing aid up...”
“Look” I said getting a little impatient, “Is he in? Are you his mum?”
“Oh, no, dear. I don’t have any children” she said.
Bugger, I seethed to myselves. I must’ve dialled the wrong number. Before I could say anything else, the old woman resumed talking.
“Ooh, there was that nice young man who lived here before me? I can’t remember his name. He had a lovely tan, though. If a bit on the red side. And a bit pointy, as I recall. Especially his hair. Looked like horns, it did!” She paused, but only for a second. “D’you know, it’s three years to the day since he moved out and I moved in. Fancy that! The old memory isn’t as bad as I thought.”
Weary from her diatribe, I tried to cut her off. “Excuse me. Do you have a forwa-“
“Oh!” She suddenly exclaimed. “And he had ever such a long-”
I shuddered and slammed the phone down before my imagination could run riot with whatever embarrassing horror the old bat was about declare.


  1. Oh dearie me. So you didn't get Lucifer on the horn? That's too bad.

    By the way, did you know that Moom is a brand of hair removal products?

  2. Why does CyberPoof insist on using his drag name, "PETRA"?


  3. Clearly, the old lady was going to mention Lucifer's long 'drive' to work.

    Perhaps Beaky would have an updated address of his boss.

  4. Had the old lady seen you having sex with Moom again?

  5. There is nothing worse than smutty old ladies , just count yourself lucky you were not in grappling distance

  6. If I remember correctly from a history class, sex with the devil is usually described as cold and hard.

  7. Did it describe what sex with Moom would be like, or do we just have to wait for IDV to finish with his pedigree chum?

  8. 'Petra: Hair removal products? I simply must tell SP!

    MJ: Because he's now a full time drag queen?

    Eros: Clearly. *ahem*

    Hmmm.. It's worth checking with Beaky. As long as his missus isn't around. Good idea, Eros!

    Tim: I DO NOT hvae sex with Moom!

    P&T: I'm so glad that you understand.

    BEAST: I do. They think they can grope what they like just because they're old. Rude!

    Dinah: Really? I wish I'd been to school in Canada if that's the kind of stuff you learn.

    Tim: Shush, you!