Saturday, June 06, 2009

669

* Brrrriiing brrrriing - Brrrriiing brrrriing - Brrrriiing brrrri- *

“Hello?” a frail old voice answered. Momentarily nonplussed, I didn’t respond. “Is there anyone there?” she asked.
“Ummm…” Oh, great start. I rolled my eyes with some assistance from The Host’s SubC. “Ummm… I don’t suppose Lucifer’s home, is he?
“Who, dear?”
“Lucifer. Um.”
“Lucy? Eh?” There was some rustling before the voice muttered “Let me turn my hearing aid up...”
“Look” I said getting a little impatient, “Is he in? Are you his mum?”
“Oh, no, dear. I don’t have any children” she said.
Bugger, I seethed to myselves. I must’ve dialled the wrong number. Before I could say anything else, the old woman resumed talking.
“Ooh, there was that nice young man who lived here before me? I can’t remember his name. He had a lovely tan, though. If a bit on the red side. And a bit pointy, as I recall. Especially his hair. Looked like horns, it did!” She paused, but only for a second. “D’you know, it’s three years to the day since he moved out and I moved in. Fancy that! The old memory isn’t as bad as I thought.”
Weary from her diatribe, I tried to cut her off. “Excuse me. Do you have a forwa-“
“Oh!” She suddenly exclaimed. “And he had ever such a long-”
I shuddered and slammed the phone down before my imagination could run riot with whatever embarrassing horror the old bat was about declare.

9 comments:

  1. Oh dearie me. So you didn't get Lucifer on the horn? That's too bad.

    By the way, did you know that Moom is a brand of hair removal products?

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  2. Why does CyberPoof insist on using his drag name, "PETRA"?

    Discuss.

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  3. Clearly, the old lady was going to mention Lucifer's long 'drive' to work.

    Perhaps Beaky would have an updated address of his boss.

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  4. Had the old lady seen you having sex with Moom again?

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  5. There is nothing worse than smutty old ladies , just count yourself lucky you were not in grappling distance

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  6. If I remember correctly from a history class, sex with the devil is usually described as cold and hard.

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  7. Did it describe what sex with Moom would be like, or do we just have to wait for IDV to finish with his pedigree chum?

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  8. 'Petra: Hair removal products? I simply must tell SP!

    MJ: Because he's now a full time drag queen?

    Eros: Clearly. *ahem*

    Hmmm.. It's worth checking with Beaky. As long as his missus isn't around. Good idea, Eros!

    Tim: I DO NOT hvae sex with Moom!

    P&T: I'm so glad that you understand.

    BEAST: I do. They think they can grope what they like just because they're old. Rude!

    Dinah: Really? I wish I'd been to school in Canada if that's the kind of stuff you learn.

    Tim: Shush, you!

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