Sunday, July 20, 2014

Triumphant Tin Foil Hats 2014

 Thank you all for returning on this auspicious occasion. If you would like to take your seats-
 No, here at the front, Norma! I've reserved seats for you VIP bloggers due to all the celebrities in attendance. Honestly, one couldn't move backstage earlier due to all the scantily-foil-clad reality TV stars!

Don't worry, I've locked Dan Osbourne and his tiny tinfoil trunks in my dressing room so he doesn't cause any further distractions during the award ceremony. I'll need someone to keep an eye on Tom Daley, though - Any takers?

Real stars; Elizabeth Taylor, Lady Gaga, Abba, Katy Perry and, uh... Vanessa Feltz(?) can't wait to find out who has won.

 So, the time has come. Voting is over and all ballot boxes have been emptied and counted. I am now in a position to reveal the winner of the 2014 edition of the Tin Hat & Tales Competition. Actually, I'm going to pass the honour of announcing the winner - for there is only one winner - over to Jennifer Anniston:

 Oh, for heavens sakes! Is it really that much of a surprise, Jen? Sigh... I'll just do it myself, then.

 And the winner of the Tin Hat & Tales Competition 2014 is:

Uranus Rising, by Ms Scarlet!

Congratulations Ms Scarlet! Not only were you the Popular Tin Foil Hat winner by garnering the most votes (narrowly pipping Mago to first place), but also the Technical Tin Foil Hat winner (just beating the last compo's winner, Eroswings). I hope you've prepared a speech? Your prize will be in the post shortly (i.e. when I've actually decided what it's going to be).

 Finally, before the celebrations begin, I would just like to thank you all for taking part and making this event a success. All the hats were marvellous - We should do this again sometime?!

 Right. I'm off to my dressing room to, uh... See to, umm... Find a... Oh, just start the Champagne, I'll be back in ten minutes.


Ms Scarlet said...

I would also like to give thanks to Malcolm Trimble who wrote the definitive Christmas pamphlet on how to assemble an award winning Tin Foil hat. I studied this pamphlet for five consecutive minutes before even tearing off my foil from the roll.
And lastly, a huge thank you and round of applause for Mr Devine for staging the competition, without him we would all have some foil in our cupboards to cook today's Sunday lunch.
Oh, and finally thank you, big hugs, and maybe a flash of my frilly knickers to all those lovely, gorgeous, beautiful people who voted for me.... as they often say on occasions such as this, the cheques are in the post!


Inexplicable DeVice said...

Congratulations Ms Scarlet!

63mago said...

Congratulations MsScarlet !

Congratulations too to all other contestants, great objects all around.
Apologies for not being around last week, circumstances etc. mY regards ro Boradway ...

MJ said...

I see London
I see France
I see Scarlet's underpants!

Congrats, Miss Scarlet!

And thanks to our host(s), Mr. DeVice.

MJ said...

p.s. Your word verification thingy has gone mental.

I had to listen to the audio portion of WV to figure out what they wanted me to type.

mistress maddie said...

ten minutes!?!!? Honey, if it only takes 10 minutes, your not doing something right. Now where the hell is that little swimmer yet????? Lovely event dear!

mistress maddie said...

A huge congrats to Ms Scarlett on the award winning design!!!!!!! I'm sure now we will see them on every street hat vendor, on every corner in New York City. What now Scarlett? I see a future for you in the foil industry..........

normadesmond said...

bravo darling and remember, you
can poach your salmon in that!

Ms Scarlet said...

Thank you to all!
I am now busy writing a new book... Tin Foilery for beginners, as everybody has to start somewhere.

jason said...

I think Ms Scarlett should go into business!
The tin foil milliner to the stars!
That's how Chanel got her start, non?

CyberPete said...

Bravo! Yay for Scarls!

Still think I should have won

eroswings said...

Congratulations, Scarlet!!! Well done on a fantastic win!!!

And Thank You, IDV, for putting on another fun and thrilling competition!!!

I've been out of the loop for a week and I've been itching to see who won the big prize...and it's a well deserved win to Scarlet. I hope you show off that big tinfoil winner tiara, along with the winning tinfoil sash and tinfoil flowers. Take a victory walk on the stage! Because you are a winner!

A big congratulations to all the contestants! Well done, everyone!

LX said...

Congrats designer extraordinaire Miss Scarlet! The next Coco Chanel?