Thank you all for returning on this auspicious occasion. If you would like to take your seats-
No, here at the front, Norma! I've reserved seats for you VIP bloggers due to all the celebrities in attendance. Honestly, one couldn't move backstage earlier due to all the scantily-foil-clad reality TV stars!
|Don't worry, I've locked Dan Osbourne and his tiny tinfoil trunks in my dressing room so he doesn't cause any further distractions during the award ceremony. I'll need someone to keep an eye on Tom Daley, though - Any takers?|
|Real stars; Elizabeth Taylor, Lady Gaga, Abba, Katy Perry and, uh... Vanessa Feltz(?) can't wait to find out who has won.|
So, the time has come. Voting is over and all ballot boxes have been emptied and counted. I am now in a position to reveal the winner of the 2014 edition of the Tin Hat & Tales Competition. Actually, I'm going to pass the honour of announcing the winner - for there is only one winner - over to Jennifer Anniston:
Oh, for heavens sakes! Is it really that much of a surprise, Jen? Sigh... I'll just do it myself, then.
And the winner of the Tin Hat & Tales Competition 2014 is:
Uranus Rising, by Ms Scarlet!
Congratulations Ms Scarlet! Not only were you the Popular Tin Foil Hat winner by garnering the most votes (narrowly pipping Mago to first place), but also the Technical Tin Foil Hat winner (just beating the last compo's winner, Eroswings). I hope you've prepared a speech? Your prize will be in the post shortly (i.e. when I've actually decided what it's going to be).
Finally, before the celebrations begin, I would just like to thank you all for taking part and making this event a success. All the hats were marvellous - We should do this again sometime?!
Right. I'm off to my dressing room to, uh... See to, umm... Find a... Oh, just start the Champagne, I'll be back in ten minutes.