Monday, 18 June 2012

The Witch is back

Well, it seems once again I have within my clutches those despicable Freakin' Green Elf Shorts


But what an occasion to return to the Blogworld!  I must admit, I was humming and hahing about whether to jack it all in forever, and thought I'd have a quick flick through a few of my favourite blogs just to see what's been going on before I close up shop and retire over the Cusp. 
I didn't get far before I discovered Miss Scarlet had "appropriated" the 'Shorts from Beast  (and a good thing she did too, as Mr Beast had hung on to them almost as long as 'Petra!), and was holding The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition.
Now, I'm not one to pass up making a snide or bitchy comment, so I couldn't help but leave a remark or two at Miss Scarlet's. However, I did refrain from nastiness as the hostess is a splendid acquaintance. Little did I know that one of those captions would capture her heart - or possibly her gall bladder - and crown me the winner of the infernal things.
Had I had my precognition switched on I would have included a caveat with my captions promising the 'Shorts to another worthy blogger** as I've already had the "pleasure" of their company once before.
Why don't you just pass them on to someone else now? I hear you ask.
Because I'm greedy and need the attention.  Just for a little while, mind, then I'll calm down and bask in someone else's glory instead of my own. Speaking of which: Congratulations to the two runnersup, Kabuki Zero and lx!

Before I forget, here's the updated FGES Travel Map should you be inclined to trace their trail of filth across the globe:

Now, if you don't mind, I've got to cut this short as Castle DeVice needs 'Shorts-proofing and I don't know how much time I have left!

* I have yet to receive them in the post.
** Such as the delightful Princess, a) because of the aforementioned delightfulness, and b) because those vile things should be as far away from here as possible and Australia is pretty damn far. Or, Tim...

* imagines Tim in all manner of poses clad only in The 'Shorts, the ghastly 
synthetic fabric clinging suggestively to certain bulges... *  

Ahem. I'm just going for a cold shower then a lay down. I can feel one of my heads coming on.


  1. Congratulations!!!
    Bugger... I'd better remember to post the things now.....

  2. Congrats to the first two-time winner! A well-earned distinction!

  3. An anonymous voice from the back of the room whispers, "How about Rimpy?"

  4. Do you want me to send you some self-tanner for your next photo session?

    Congratulations, my witchy friend!

    Mistress MJ is impressed that you've updated TFGES map but now realizes that she must update The Definitive History of The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts...soonish.

    p.s. Email me.

  5. Miss Scarlet: Why, thank you. Just remember to warn the postman before you send them!

    lx: Ah, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable as I got so caught up in the win that I forgot that one should only hold the 'Shorts once.
    I know it's not too late to pass them on, but they're the only thing that's keeping me blogging again!

    Rimpy: I'll let you know when I hold the compo. Especially as I rather liked your: They may have gotten everything else, but I'll be damned if they're going to repossess my crooked chair!

    MJ: Thanks, but I've got a can of creosote on stand by!

    I'll email you right now.

    Well, you probably won't get it for hours as I'll keep editing and editing it before I eventually send it!

  6. i'm glad y'all are back, sugar! skinny legs and all! ;~) xoxoxoxoxo

  7. Ha ha ha - NEVER will those vile things grace my things!

    (glad you're back; I was missing the attention)

  8. Oh My God!! Will those freakin' things never die??? I'm so glad to see you back on your blog, you're a role model to all the pathetic slackers such as myself.

  9. *pops on welding mask*
    Hello Mr DeVice... How lovely to see you... Back once again to insinuate yourself upon an unsuspecting yet adoring public. I see that it takes a nasty old piece of fabric to make you come to your senses and reveal yourself. Had this knowledge been known as the remedy for your protracted invisibility one would have encouraged Miss Scarlet to have waved them about sooner to attract your attention.

    welcome back.

  10. Oh dear! This does inspire me to get back, as well as give me a hideous cold sweat of guilt over the email I am yet to send to the lovely Princess. Apologies to one and all.

  11. Hey Bitch! Where are the Freakin Green Elf Shorts.... Do you relaize that MJ has reached desperation point and has taken to flashing her rack just so we can all get a peek of the shorts... It's
    desperate times darling...
    Please do something to quell such deplorable behaviour... what better time to celebrate the christmas spirit than to drape your glorious self in the FGES for all to see....

    On another note....
    Have a marvelous Christmas Darling... Would it be too much to ask of you to De-Cloak for Christmas?
    Hugs and Kisses Princess OXOXOXOX

  12. Prinny is referring to her this photo, Mr. DeVice, which I linked to in my comments box.

    We understand you are busy with coven business and will get ‘round to de-cloaking in time.

  13. I should proofread before I press "publish your comment."

  14. Feliz Navidad, IDV!

    Merry Christmas to you and yours!


  15. Merry Christmas, Mr Devine!!! I am wrapping something special for you.

  16. Merry Christmas, Mr Device!


Tickle my fancy, why don't you?