Something something: Answer

During an unexpected lull at work today, I found myself sifting through ancient emails and I found this meme. It's one I discovered years ago at Tornwordo's not long after I first started blogging. I copied it and emailed it to a few friends then lost it amongst hundreds of non-work related emails. This afternoon, it made a triumphant return!
I've left my (the Host's) original answers in place (in white) so you can see what I was like back in 2005, and reanswered some of them as of now. Enjoy!


1) My mother once: turned me upside down and smacked my back to stop me choking on a mint imperial.

2) Never in my life: have I french kissed a girl. Or done anything else to a girl for that matter.

3) When I was five: it was 1980/1.

4) High school was/is: not very memorable.

5) I will never forget: that I am short sighted.

6) I once met: Pam St.Clement (Pat from Eastenders) when she came to the cafe where I worked in my teens. I made her a fried egg sandwich - glam, eh? Jonathan Del Arco, AKA Hugh Borg, in a lift in Leicester.

7) There's this person I know who: is the most ham-fisted cow I've ever met. You know who you are :)

8) Once, at a bar: I found a fiver.

9) By noon I'm usually: starving.

10) Last night I: had a quiet night in, bathing and reading. Actually, I did last night, too. I'm nothing if not predictable, it seems.

11) If only I had: immortality.

12) Next time I go to church/temple: I'll try not to burst into flames as I cross the threshold.

13) Terri Schiavo: Who? I still have no idea who she is.

14) I like: standing outside in the rain (as long as I'm not going anywhere).

15) When I turn my head left, I see: ivory woodchip. A wardrobe.

16) When I turn my head right, I see: a dining room in need of a make over. Out of the window to the trees encircling the park opposite our house.

17) You know I'm lying when: you catch me out.

18) In junior school: I tickled a boy so much that he wet himself.

19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare: I'd be very surprised.

20) By this time next year I: hope I've done something to change my life. I hadn't, of course. Still haven't unless one counts meeting SP.

21) A better name for me would be: The Boy Who Wished His Life Away.

22) I have a hard time understanding: how people can be so thoughtless.

23) If I ever go back to school, I'll: stick out like a sore thumb.

24) You know I like you if: I spend time with you by choice.

25) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: whoever supported me doing whatever it was that got me the award.

26) I hope that: I don't end up found three weeks later half eaten by alsations. As long as SP lasts the distance, this one shouldn't come to pass.

27) Take my advice: don't jump to conclusions.

28) My ideal breakfast is: one brought to me in bed by a half naked, sexy man - step forward Connor Trinneer. Or Jake Gyllenhaal/Eddie Cibrian/Seann William Scott etc... Oh, or SP.

29) A song I love but do not have is: Biology by Girls Aloud. Of course, being a fabulous Gayer, I own it now. A song I still don't have is: Liza Minelli's Losing My Mind. Perhaps I'm not so fabulous after all?


30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you come and see me.

31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips and track stars: bulbs, intriguing, complicated and athletic.

32) Why won't anyone: do? what I say immediately!

33) If you spend the night at my house: I'll let you use the guest towels.

34) I'd stop my wedding: when the Rohypnol wears off and I realise what's going on. If SP pulls his face off revealing himself to be a muck monster from Mordo.

35) The world could do without: greed and intolerance.

36) I'd rather lick the belly of a roach than: burn to death. Again.

37) My favourite thing is: being outside on a really windy day and imagining the wind carrying me off.

38) Paper clips are more useful than: people give them credit for.

39) And by the way: when I say No, I mean it!

40) The last time I was (really) drunk: I ran around in my red pants! And I haven't been hideously pissed since that half-naked night.

41) My grandmother always: is. Used to say "Pig!" after she'd unleashed an enormous burp.

And there you have it. Now for the tags (if you can be arsed): Tim, Dinah, Eros, Beast and 'Petra. Knock yourselves out!