Saturday, February 11, 2017

Moving for the sake of a toilet roll holder


 I haven't been around as much as I'd've liked this past week or two, but I do have a reason: The Parents are on the verge of moving house - the big day being this Monday. 
 Obviously, this means that their selfless, abled-bodied, only son - i.e. me - has been kept busy with various heavy lifting, packing, cleaning, and storage tasks. In fact, I've just returned from The Parents' having loaded Car full of boxes of things that The Mother doesn't want the removal men to lose or break. 
 As I drifted in and out of The Mother's stream of wittering, I caught this little nugget of information: "This will be the first house I've lived in with a [built in] toilet roll holder!" 
I couldn't bear to ask if that was the reason for moving...

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 In other news, a couple of days ago, my viewing of Harry Hill's You've Been Framed was rudely interrupted by the phone ringing. After much exasperated sighing, I heaved myself off the sofa and answered the phone to a really-quite-convincing and very youthful Lancashire-accented: "Have you seen my friend? Kimberley?"



 After I'd picked myself off the floor where I'd fallen about in hysterical laughter, The Little Witch - née Babyzilla - proceeded to ask me: "Is it on the trolley?"



 It turns out that Indescribable had been invited into The Little witch's 'café', and when asked what sort of food she served, The Little Witch stated "soup". Indescribable - probably chuckling to herself, what with being a huge Victoria Wood fan - asked for two soups. The Little Witch, totally unprompted, then wrote squiggled on her blackboard while muttering "one soup. And another soup." 
 After almost wetting herself laughing, Indescribable saw fit to teach The Little Witch various Victoria Wood sketches which is how I came to be recounting it for you now.




18 comments:

  1. Please the whole Casa du Borghese was designed around a built in toilet paper holder.

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    1. And what a magnificent and eye-wateringly expensive toilet paper holder it must be, too!

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  2. I wasn't aware that there were such things. In this house, the houseboy passes one pieces, after ironing and warming them of course.

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    1. Of course. I can only imagine what the houseboy keeps the roll on while ironing each individual sheet...

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  3. The house where I grew up (built in the 1950s), had a built-in toilet roll holder. There were also built-in soap holders for the tub and sink. Given the vintage, the tiles were pastel blue. I've not had such fancy luxury since.

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  4. hmm, built-in paper holder. they're getting pretty uppity in their old age, huh?

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    1. I think they're hoping that this toilet roll holder will open doors to North Norfolk's high society...

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    2. Wot, like Sandringham?

      (And ta, by the way, for Kimberley and the Penis Colada.Been ages since I've had one.)

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    3. A Kimberley or a Penis Colada?

      As for the high society, the toilet roll holder will probably get them as far as Holt's Rotary Club. For the heady heights of Sandringham, they're going to need those soap holders LẌ mentioned...

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  5. Thanks for the funny clips--made me chuckle. The credits on "Two Soups" confirmed that the waitress is the old club lady from "Indian Summers". The Little Witch is hilarious, esp. in running her cafe.

    Here's to hoping the parent's move goes smoothly and the movers do all the heavy lifting and repositioning at the new place. I once had a gadget inserted into the toilet paper tube that played the William Tell Overture everytime someone used a toilet paper roll. It was a big hit and lasted one week at my old place. It went missing after a weekend party. I suspect one of the riff raff without a formal invite had absconded with my musical treasure. Now, someone else is listening to the Lone Ranger theme song in their bathroom everytime they use the toilet paper.

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    1. Perhaps I could interest you in a replacement? The Very Mistress's housewarming gift clashes with The Parent's decor, so I'm sure they won't mind passing it along to you.

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  6. Replies
    1. Why, thank you! Except that orange clashes with their decor...

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  7. Wait until you have to move them into an old folks' home. That's really hysterical.

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    1. If it was up to me, that's where they'd be now, but they keep clinging on to reasonable mental health and mobility, godsdamnthem!

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  8. My toilet roll holder is built in; it is called the floor. I fib, but my toilet roll holders are relatively new.
    Love Victoria and Julie! The woollens shop sketch sticks in my mind for some reason, an excellent balance of cosy and snark.
    Sx

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    1. I must admit, I like my toilet rolls placed somewhere lower than the toilet bowl in case one accidently gets knocked in!

      Indescribable gave me a Victoria Wood boxset for Christmas that I keep meaning to sit down and watch with a very large glass of wine and plenty of crisps and chocolate.

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