Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Hot footing it


Out! Get out you little bastards! Ou- No! Not on the carpet. Oh, look what you've done... Eeeek! The lino! Shoo!

Oh, how I loathe ironing shirts. Remind me never to try using magic to get it done again. My iron turned into a herd of tiny elephants with red hot feet and proceeded to trample all over the dining room carpet. Which is now covered in hundreds of little smouldering footprints...
And you should see the lino in the kitchen! Tiny molten craters of lino lead from the dining room to the back door where I managed to shoo most of the little buggers out.

* sniff sniff *

Uh oh. I can smell burning. I think one of them ran under the radiator...
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24 comments:

  1. Anonymous27 May, 2008 21:40

    You were running around in your high heels again weren't you?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tara27 May, 2008 21:41

    Ironing is evil. I could be in the best mood, and then ironing happens. Haven't had to do much of it in awhile, though! I bought a solution you spray on your clothes that helps iron out wrinkles without the iron. Oh and I also take my stuff out of the dryer as soon as it turns off. The helps a bit too, but not always. Riveting story, I know.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nicki27 May, 2008 21:43

    I iron the redneck way - throw it in the dryer with a wet towel for 5 or 10 minutes. Works about 90% of the time, and there's no elephant poop to clean up.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Inexplicable DeVice27 May, 2008 21:49

    Jinkies! It didn't take long for you lot to turn up.

    Connie: Not running per se...

    Tara: Oh how I love that turn of phrase "I could be in the best mood, and then ironing happens" I'm going to nab it for future use. Ta!

    Sunshine & Kitten Farts: Hee hee hee! Kitten farts...

    Anyway, now that you've made me laugh, I'd best get on with the reply proper: I'm going to have to try it your way!

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Mistress27 May, 2008 21:50

    I get someone else to do it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Tim27 May, 2008 22:01

    You iron? Good grief…

    ReplyDelete
  7. Miss Smuggersham27 May, 2008 22:03

    I have a burn from my last ironing expedition that will (from experience with these things) take about a year or two to fade completely.

    I am so hiring someone, MJ style.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Inexplicable DeVice27 May, 2008 22:08

    What the Hell's going on!? What's everyone doing here so soon after I posted?

    Ah well, better make the most of it...

    MJ: Let me guess - SID. While dressed head to foot in balck rubber?

    Tim: Well, I try not to. Look what happens!

    T-Bird: I don't know if MJ will share SID? You could try one of Knudsen's gurlyboys?

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Mistress27 May, 2008 22:12

    Yes, SID is my cleaning bitch but there's an opening in his black rubber outfit so it's not completely head to toe.

    No, I won't share. All of you can get your own.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Inexplicable DeVice27 May, 2008 22:16

    MJ: Just the one opening?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Miss Smuggersham27 May, 2008 22:18

    Well, he needs to eat.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The Mistress27 May, 2008 22:21

    Not every outfit has a flap round the back like your sailor outfit.

    And I'll thank you not to discuss my personal business any further.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Inexplicable DeVice27 May, 2008 22:24

    T-Bird: But I always thought it was a physical impossibility to eat through there?

    MJ: Believe me, your business is off the menu.

    ReplyDelete
  14. The Mistress27 May, 2008 22:47

    Thankfully Piggy hasn't been by.

    Try getting trotter prints out of the lino...impossible!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous27 May, 2008 23:02

    Ah, that'll explain those marks on your arse that we thought were fag-burns resulting from some sordid experience.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous27 May, 2008 23:05

    *kicks MJ in the cunt*

    Speaking of which. We've been wondering if her aging fanny resembles something created by Salvador Dali...

    *reaches for mind bleach*

    ReplyDelete
  17. Tara27 May, 2008 23:16

    What's everyone doing here so soon after I posted?

    Scary, aren't we? Muah ha ha. It's a surprise blog comment attack!

    ReplyDelete
  18. The Mistress27 May, 2008 23:23

    *wonders if the Lascaux cave paintings of Piggy have withered up and faded away much like his willie*

    ReplyDelete
  19. Snooze28 May, 2008 00:40

    Another reason to parade around in nothing but a speedo: no ironing.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Miss Smuggersham28 May, 2008 09:17

    How does he eat though there? Suppositories, I suppose.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Betty28 May, 2008 13:14

    "My iron turned into a herd of tiny elephants with red hot feet and proceeded to trample all over the dining room carpet"

    Ironing while on LSD is bound to end in tears, if not injury, maiming or death.

    ReplyDelete
  22. eroswings28 May, 2008 17:20

    Let's hope the elephants didn't leave any droppings. Though, I suppose they could make great fertilizer...

    I don't mind the ironing. It's the washing and drying that takes forever! Once I get to the ironing, I know the chores are almost done!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dinah28 May, 2008 21:24

    I hope you had your CD of Benny Hill music appropriately cranked up.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Inexplicable DeVice28 May, 2008 22:48

    MJ: It's the skid marks on the bed sheets I'm more concerned about. I don't know what I was thinking about when I offered the spare bed to Piggy & Tazzy!?

    * also reaches for mind bleach *

    Tara: Arrrgh! And my defences were down!

    MJ: I bet they're mere smudges. Much like his willy.

    Snooze: You're still not really selling it to me. Remember your promise to warn me when The Speedo Take Over is imminent!

    T-Bird: MJ says he likes pineapples. Eeeek!

    Betty: I heartily agree. Lowfat Salsa Dip always makes me come over all peculiar.

    Eros: The few that they did leave were steaming...

    Dinah: But of course! As any godd British householder would have.

    ReplyDelete

Tickle my fancy, why don't you?

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