I rushed around the house in a flap, tossing the thing from one hand to the other - something the SubC's should've stopped me from doing, as they know full well how rubbish I am at catching.
At last, my eyes fell upon Apocalypse Oven. Ah well, I thought, it's better than just sitting on it and hoping for the best. So I opened the oven door and threw the device in before slamming the door shut and leaping into the dining room! Surely it must be able to withstand a blast capable of shattering a small planet?
* muffled boom *
Yes. It could!
However, my Marks and Spencers chocolate fudge pudding, which was in Oven at the time, wasn't quite so resiliant...
I bet you're wondering how such a destructive device came to appear in my home? Well, I'd like to know, too!
Hmmm?
* shuffling of metaphorical feet *
Ummmm...
I'll be visiting your blogs later to catch up with you all. That is, once I've cleared up the mess.
And got some answers from the SubC's...
Keep your shields up, you clumsy bitch!
ReplyDeleteIf it was that easy, don't you think I would have?
ReplyDeleteBesides, the nutations were off. they wouldn't have stopped a trifle.
M&S Chocolate Fudge Pudding?
ReplyDelete*resists urge to say something filthy*
Really!?!
ReplyDeleteShouldn't that be T&P Chocolate Fudge Pudding?
ReplyDeleteJust use Piggy's sleeve to clean up the mess.
I'd rather use Tazzy's. Piggy's is too wee for all the mess created.
ReplyDeleteOh? So you're a messy boy then?
ReplyDelete*barfs*
And don't listen to the Canuck bitch anyway - she's only jealous they don't have M&S.
Those time traveling Tholians must've made a deal with your subCs...I may need to borrow your oven in case I run into hostile aliens...
ReplyDelete...may also come handy to ward off those conniving Girl Scouts hustling people into buying overpriced cookies to support their hidden agenda to take over the world!
ReplyDeleteP&T: M&S food would be far too rich for MJ. Especially after all that crappy Kraft shite!
ReplyDeleteAnd as for my mess? Well, I just can't think of a good retort!
Eros: You're welcome to it. I'd advise standing it by the front door so when those pesky conquering girl scouts stop by it'll be a simple job just to push them in!
if you'd had a Tribble on hand you could have stuffed the tri-cobalt device down its throat. That's what they're for you know.
ReplyDeleteIVD dribbles on his Tribbles!
ReplyDeleteHmmm
ReplyDeletethat's The Trouble with Tribbles...
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I only come here for the muffled explosions.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of when I used to jerk off in confession.
Canada had M&S for years. We chased them away.
ReplyDeleteI was going to tell you to quickly get another chocolate pudding, but after reading the comments, it sounds so unappealing.
A little lemon-scented oven cleaner will get that right out.
ReplyDeleteWeird.
ReplyDeleteAs to the mess, I'd suggest you just move.
KG: Of course! I knew they had their uses.
ReplyDeleteSID: Whereas you just dribble piddle.
CyberPoo: Indeed.
Eros: They certainly are not without their Trials And Tribblations.
Tickers: Ew. There's nothing quite like damp cassocks.
Snooze: I've been put right off. I think I'll change over to sticky toffee pudding, instead.
Tara: And afterwards, I can club Apocalypse Oven to death with a lemon tree!
Rimjob: A perfect solution.
Now if only I had enough money to do so...
The (no relation) has had me giggling for days!
ReplyDelete